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morning what a windy day here . well the hospital went ok least there is no nerves trapped . they agreed that since the accident was in may it is still swollen so he did say that it could take ayear to heal right . well i go back to see the doc again on the 8 then he will make his mind up as to what he is going to do.
rang my solic and as yet my ex as not signed the papers she is going to write to him then go to the court for a balif to go but i have asked if he can be served his papers when he goes to court on the 16 . i can but it will cost me and im not sure if to do that ? for one it will fuel him and he may go ape but then should i just let the process go through just taht i dont want it to take long i wont to shed the old skin !
louise and sparklinglime i hear what you are both saying but i cant get it in my head there is something blocking me . i know i am running at speed and i know im not allowing myself me time and i fear i will burn out as im so tired but to be honest im so scared . scared of the divorce scared of the case and being alone . i tell myself that we will cross each bridge as it comes but the fear of being scared dont go. i know i dont leave myself much me time or much time to relax . i try and i know that things dont always have to be done just right then .
i think the court case is my biggest worry , as it is not nice having to go through this even though i know that he was in the wrong for doing what he did it is still not nice to have to say thatwe are going to court. it wont be nice to see the man i loved in the dock. but then im doing this for my son as he saw this happen . and im making a stand to say that look you cant do this to me anymore .
i know i have cried but i dont feel as yet that i can stop those tears , i have cried buckets but i dont feel i have cried the right way as yet if that makes sense . i think that i need to do what you did sparklinglime . not nesscary go to lent but to sit and cry it out . may be when the court is done i will , i think that that wil be my biggest hurdle to get over . the divorce yes is sad but i think i will cope more with that once the case is over. what will be will be with the out come of the case , it was his doing to hit me and im still suffering through it . he didnt have to hit me or throw me up the wall. the doc said last night that i must have gone at some force to have done this and that hurt .
well today im off to the range to have a look around see what nice things they have for xmas . not to but as money is tight but to have a look around for me . tomoz we have the day off and kids too though i have got to go into work to sign and clean my dinner box but then i may go off to town to see the german market with the kids . i try to avoid the city as that is where my ex's area is for work but then i cant live like that all my life i have to show him . little one wants the tree up so may do that the weekend . life as to go on and he as his life and i have the boys . the police said yest to me taht he wont be coming again for any more stuff as they saw that what he wanted was not important and the time he came was not what i agreed and he was pushing it to see the kids . so they can see through him and he is not doing himself any good . the boys seem happier this weekend had loads of cuddles .
i will try to make time for me more as the last thing i need or want is to burn out ansd i really got to stop worrying or even feeling sad for myself as he caused this not me x
I know where you're coming from.
Horrid to have all this coming up too for you.
Hope you're able to chill while window shopping. I'm not too good at window shopping so basically never did that - which probably hasn't done the children much good! And now I can't...
Horrid day here. My storage box in the garden is wrecked. So two bags of sawdust for little animals in the kitchen and I hope they dry out! I worry about the buns and guinea pigs when its like this, yet they are clean with loads of hay and hopefully the covers on the hutches will do the job!
Hi shaz5, how are you? I have just been reading about your ex's visit to collect his stuff.
They think they are being so crafty, turning up when they know you will need to collect the children, wanting the cameras off the house? I am so glad the Police saw through him.
I think what can be difficult too is the embarrassment we feel! We want them to show their true colours to other people, so that they believe us and don't think we have exaggerated, but then we want to hang our head in shame as we were the ones who were wrapped up and in love with this person. 
Anyway, it is another step forward for you. The Court date looming is the worst, but however much you rush your life in between, it is not going to come and then go any faster.
You do need to slow down, for your own health and wellbeing. This is what it is, he did what he did, everything will be the same after Court, except you will have found out about the house I guess? Or is this a criminal court case about the assault?
Sounds good to hear that the boys were in good form at the weekend. A lot of their strength is coming from you. So remember to keep patting yourself on your back, you are doing as well as can be.
morning all thanku anna it is crown court we have got to go for him hitting me . yes i would like him to show his colours then people would see that it is not all me and i was saying was right . but he is going to be too clever for that and not do that . though he did lose his temper when the bail conditions were put upon him. yes with me there is too much going on not just a split. but we will get through this have too.
yest we were off from school , had to go in and clean box out and sign then i took the kids off up town to have a look around the german market . it was nice for us then took them to counselling not the little one is copying the big one in what he is saying and not wanting to talk about his dad . in there i felt like i wanted to scream at them to open up. i didnt last week the eldest did open up abit but i wasnt there. i have told them that they can say what they want about their dad i wont feel upset by it they need to . i know they are scared of upsetting me as they have said they dont want me to hurt anymore .
well they have just woken up and open their advent calenders . this is what he will be missing little things like this , tonite is teh school fayre i have got collared into running a table . my sons can help they will enjoy it . then we are going to do the tree the weekend thid id going to be fun trying to put that up but we will do it .
well least the weather is calmer here the wind as died down and teh fence stayed up
hello shaz5
I am glad you are doing Christmassy stuff with the boys, you're right, he is missing out on all those things. It's great that you have told them they can say what they want, it's important they feel free to do this.
Good luck with the Fayre tonight!
Have a lovely time at the Fayre. You'll have a great time doing the tree 
morning what a cold and frosty start here today is. the fayre was fun got home at 545 tired ! was on the sweet table and one of the mothers took my little one around so he could have some fun and took him to see santa . it was good nite and they even got to beavers and cubs so i think it was after 8 when i got to sit down.
yes im looking forward to putting up the tree this weekend even though we are going to friends so i was deciding not to bother but that wont be fare to the kids and i should carry on for them and us as a family .
well i have spoken to the solic again and with the divorce im going to have to pay (which the family are helping me with) to get the papers served to him on the 16 dec when he goes . as he has not done anything yet to the ones i have done. after a chat we decided that with him he isnt going to listen or play ball. he didnt want a divorce he threatened me by saying that i would end up in the gutter and with nothing and that i shouldnt force him as he wasnt thinking of a divorce till 2/5 yrs down the line. so i this is waht im doing as i want closure to both now as then i can move on with my life. as i gather when he is sitting there waiting to go in to answer his plea he will be served them and he will after sign for them . he will go ape i know he will but this is what i have to do .
my elder son always asks anything happen today so i have told him what i am doing regarding the divorce and he was happy even said he wanted to pay £50 towards it which brought a tear . he said he doesnt want me to be married to him any more and i have to do anything i can to be happy again then he is happy . my baby is so wise in his 10yr old head that i count my blessings that i have him . that i have the both x
I feel sure that you are making the right decision, shaz. Glad the fayre went well
I do too.
Glad you had a good evening yesterday.
afternoon well i have just put our tree up. i didnt realize that i had that many baubles . the last 2 years i went choc and gold this year my sons wanted white and red and thats what we have gone with . not putting the outside lights up for one it saves money and 2 i cant find them . i know i have had a good clear out but i never came across them. we have done things different so it wont remind us of the past . the kids helped . i have got to go and get them a tree for their bedroom as that is something else i cant find. i did come across some toys that i got last year and never gave them . my ex was always doing the loft since he went i had never stepped up there and im so glad that he did fit the loft hatch or else i wouldnt have been able to get up there.
they had a good swimming lesson then came home did homework and the tree and even cleaned up .
You've been busy so far today shaz. That's a good idea to do things differently this year, it's yours and the boys stamp on it, and starting anew. Well done. Great you found some toys from last year too, added bonus. Have a lovely weekend.
morning all i am full of a cold and cough which is driving me mad . yes i was really pleased to do the tree and i we got the kids a tree for their room. it is a lovely tree only £3.75 from asda with lights too battery it looks fab .
well friday night i had a call from my mother inlaw but when i answered she put the phone down then last night just as i was bathing the little one she rang the house well i flew at her she got my rant full on . i felt good after and it took me ages to calm down but this morning i feel that i shouldnt have gone off like i did . i asked her why it had taken 6 months to call she did say that it was all my fault with doing the court case i just said that i wasnt going to even go there and she had no right to blame me after he left it was him who went and had the affair and did the lies and even lied to her which she did tell me that she had meet her and wasnt keen i said that was her problem not mine and she would have a new daughter in law and that she had tossed us aside and my kids it was her doing not mine and that she could have seen the kids that feel left and hurt and she wanst to make up why now why after all this time she cant answer she said that my ex is so wrapped up in doing his own thing that she rarely sees him or speaks i sadi that i dont care wish he sign the divorce papers so i can move on and wash the name off me as the only thing he was good for was to donate the sperm for my lovely kids now i know that hurt her but she agreed taht the affair had been going on longer than 6 weeks like he said but i asked why he lied she said she had no clue i did wish him well hoped he die soon for what he as done to us and i would be ok with my boys she wants to see us i told her that if that was to happen then i would not go to her flat it would have to be out in the open as i didnt trust her that he would be there she was shocked and said that as he had taken her to the flat i was not going to go there now as where he as been to take her then i would never return she was ok why now after so long she did blame me for the court which hurt always something happens when the case is due he really must be living in his own world and in his own denial and she thought that he regular wroet and sent money to the kids hell no nothing since june the first has he given me any money.
im mad that i let rip but not in other wasy as he needed to be said why do they blame me i wasnt the one to have the affair !!!
well next year im going to be doing a wind tunnel and then a sky dive ! yet im scared of heights and flying lol but i want to do this for me away to let go of the past and in doing so rasie some money for prostate cancer which my dear friend has who as been there for me in this . im mad but way to go friends said why not have a party but this is a one off and something il never do again x
Hi shaz5
It sounds as if it did you the world of good to get that off your chest to her. As you say she did not know the whole situation, only what her son has told her. Just be careful that you do not take your anger at your ex, out on his mum......but I understand what you mean about meeting in an open situation. And if he has assaulted you, why the heck shouldn't you take him to court?
Hopefully now she knows wha tis what you can move ahead in your relationship with her.
Your plans for the sky dive sound very exciting! 
Have a good day
I am glad she has a better idea of what is going on shaz.
I do know though that FiL will always defend his son - MiL is a step-Mother, so doesn't have those blood ties, which is probably why I still go there with the children. I do hope that you get to meet up though just to see if there is a chance of support there.
Your plans are very brave!
Hi shaz 5, I am glad that you have spoken to his mum, albeit in anger. I think it is hard for the grand parents, as we always want to love, believe and protect our own children and I think that they must have a sense of betrayal too.
I hope that as time goes on that you are able to meet with her and the boys can see her, although it has to be on your terms and a time that suits you.
Well done for pushing the boat out and doing all these wild and crazy things! I thinkn it is really healthy to exert ourselves after a break up, take ourselves to new places. It can completely change our perspective on life.
Sounds like you are keeping very busy! Do you have zumba tonight?
hi anna i have not been to zumba for awhile due to money this side xmas and i have got a really bad cough that is driving me mad . my aim is to get back to it after xmas and stay with it as i did enjoy going. yes think your are right that doing things that we would not normally do is good for us . it will help me to bring me out again .
today my little one as got his play and he his santa so this afternoon im off there to enjoy the show been told to bring tissues . bless he as tried really hard to learn his lines and remember them .
yesterday i went and got my eldest sons present so he is done then while i was there i recieved a text saying my ex is back on fb writing judgement day bring it on . now he does this when he is off to court but i have a werid feeling that when his mom rang she as gone back to him im hoping i as wrong but something is telling me so i had a huge panic attack in the middle of the high street and totally forgot my pin number for my card had to run the high street to the bank then sat crying but least i got his present i just felt silly after for allowing him to get to me .
today im off to go and hand the money and photo of my ex to my solic so when the 16th comes he can be served his papers and there he will have to sign for them and then he will have to act then!! i really need this to be finished so i can have closure now
Yes, of course you do, shaz5. Not many days to go now, keep your chin up. there will be times with panics like yesterday but let yourself off the hook, it is Ok, you will get there 
Awww Shaz. It is so hard for you.
xxxxxxx
Oh shaz, you have been so busy with everything going on in your life at the moment. I feel though that you are steps ahead because you are serving him the papers anyway, and you are right, when it is all over you will have closure and will be able to move on...
Thinking of you,
Hugs xx
Wow shaz 5 a skydive, got to hand it to you thats brave especially as your scared of heights.
Hope the cough gets better soon, and you don't use to many tissues at the Christmas play, ah the little ones are so cute, mines xmas play is not til next week and i'm nowhere near ready on the present front.
morning my sons play was lovely and i was so proud that he remembered all his lines and he looked so sweet xx
my cough is driving me mad so im going to try to get into see the doc today . off to the hospital today to see how the hand is doing after the xrays i hand and nerve test i had also had done.with abit of luck its is onthe mend .
took the kids to counselling and it was just me she wanted to see and i broke down alot. think i had been holding in alot and i think the stress of the last few weeks and next week just came to a head. we are not going for 3 weeks and then we have only got 5 more times she is going to tryt o add 2 more then she told us that we have to wait 6 months till we can reapply . there is no way that the kids are ready yet to go as they have not even broken the surface of talking about their dad and what as gone on. they tried one session with my eldest son and he broke down but then he still not wanting to chat so i may have to go through the school counsellor as i cant leave it 6 months but i will see how they are after we come to the end with them. its is family support through womens aid that we go too .
tomorrow night i have our works xmas duo so im looking forward to a night out babysitter all set dress sorted its been along time since i wore a dress . it is nice as we are going with the teachers this time . we have got a sit down meal followed by disco so should be a laugh x
cant believe that the kids break up next week . when i get my new pin number i wil have to go food shopping then get the last of my little ones presents then wrap then i shall be done :)
i meant to say that the photo as been issued and now i wait for him to be served his papers in court now he cant wriggle out this time !! i was upset when i spoke to the solic that he is behaving like this as this isnt the guy i knew how they change when they get hooked up with someone else. i asked her whether he as tried to get access to our little one , as he he can see write , speak and take out no was her apply and that hurt like hell. it is my choice that until the case is over i am not going to split the boys up as that is unfare but it is clear that it is only the other son he wants and that is because of what he saw but it will be his loss
I'm glad you have the party to look forward to, and hope you have a fantastic time, and a breakfrom all of this.
Hope doc can help with the cough, and hope you have good news about your hand. How do you find things with your hand?
Hi shaz5, Hope you get in to see the doctor and obviously I am not a medic but what I do when I have a bad cough is steam inhalation a couple of times a day as this opens up the tubes.
That's nice about your son's play
Hope you enjoy the party, a dress eh??? 
Hi shaz5, glad the play went well, not so great about that cough, hope you manage to get it sorted at the doctors.
As Lousie suggested steam is great, but what i try, and this is going to sound weird is to eat a spoon of peanut butter, not sure how it works but it does for me!! or if throats is sore from the cough the good old spoon of honey!
Hope you have a fab night out
evening all what a fab night i had last night :)))) when i was getting ready my son sadi mom what are you wearing a dress and tights he said that i looked nice but he had never seen me in these before and i looked fab made me feel good ,
we went to friends house first drank 3 bottles of asti before we moved on the place where i drank wine and danced away. first i sat on the chair and dance that way my feet didnt hurt lol in my heels i did get up and we had a laugh
well today my head hurt oh boy not good when you have to take the kids to their swimming lesson and then the little one as a party to go to at a wacky oh joys by the time we got out my head had cleared lol then came back watched a film but i did nod off later i have a friend round but i wont be drinking much i couldnt take it well i may have a glass the nite out really did me good and this morning my voice had gone so the kids were enjoying that
hope everyone is having a nice saturday been to hand out cards and presents today and finish the rest tomorrow and i may even go to the park to feed the ducks
my son as recieved a text from my ex's mom asking him to come and see them as she got xmas presents for them and wants to hand them safely why not through me not through a child for god sake he is 10
well im not going to let her spoil my mood
Oh dear, grandma really is not learning is she? Mind you, she might be worried about you being cross with her again.
Glad you had such a lovely night out. I had to giggle about you dancing when you were sitting down 
, How is your cough?
morning louise i feel that it will be another trip to the doc as it as not gotten any better and voice going doesnt help , thought that was due to going out singing my head off lol but no.
i am going to try to call her today and try not to lose it with her i cant go and see her with what i got and my sons chest is not that good this morn either so im watching that as he suffers with his chest .
got afew more presents to give out and got to sort out the last few for my son then i shall begin to wrap them this week then i am done . got to swap one as i didnt realise that he as the ds game already .
this week is hard we are finishing school in away nice so i can try to have a lie in and in another no as it is too early week away from xmas and feeling will ride high as it being my first ex with out him . but then i have got friday to get through as to what he will plead ?? and how he will go with the divorce papers being served to him like i have . keep telling myself that this the way i have to go . i may not even get to find out on friday what he as pleaded but i feel that he will send it to trial which wont help my son feelings towards his dad . this year as certainly been a roller coaster ride and not always nice either but he chose to do this not me
well least here is dry but the gales and rain coming tomorrow is not nice you bet the rain will come when it is time to get the kids from school
I don't know what to say about her texting him. I'd be tempted to change his mobile number though as he is young. Eldest was 12 when we split and daughter 10, and their father had their mobile numbers. Grandparents still don't have their numbers (not that I'd have a problem with that now, just they've never asked...).
what a difficult week this will be.
xx
morning all well i handed out a olive branch to his mom last night thought it was best that i tried to speak as she is the kids nan . in away i wish i hadnt she told me that she was going to come here to visit us no matter what she would have gotten a taxi here and she wouldnt tell me the day she was going to come either ! i sadi that if i meet her it would be in town where it was open and netrual ground which she didnt like. then she started to tell me the days when she was able to do . now i have just had a email from his aunty who does keep intouch and she told me that the mom is holding a birthday party and the family have been invited so that is why she cant do mon or tues . it now feels like she is telling me what to do . she as said that she needs to drop the cards to them in person it is money she has put in them and she cant post them now i am worried as to what she is planning could there be anything form my ex in them or am i going over board .
fully gotten over my hangover lol sat we ahd a good time voice still not here and coughing good but i dont feel ill . my class are going to love me today not being able to shout even thouigh i have got this happening friday i dont feel scared or worried i do for the outcome and the house but not for him or going to court . the kids are in a good mood going to take them to the pics next week and try to do other things too as they break up over week before xmas
well i hope you all have a good day the storms are due later so take care watch it rain at 3 intime for when they come out !
Sorry your cough is still really bad.
The boys' nan probably just wants to see them but if she is coming round I wonder if it would be possible for you to say to her (calmly, heh heh)"Is there anything from their dad because that is against the court order and I dont want to be breaking the law" I think you are reasonable to meet her in town, she can give you the cards then ..and let's face it you don't want any involvement in the birthday party anyway.
As for her telling you what to do, older people can get a bit inflexible with their set routine so try not to take this to heart.
Hope your voice survives today!
morning what a bad night with the weather have not seen whether the fence as stayed up lol my son wanted to go to his school disco only ever been to one before and that was in the infants but he wanted to go and went . the hair got spiked and had tons of gel on lol even abit of aftershave bless
the kids in my class thought it was funny with me and loved it . today im off to finish off my presents then tomoz i can start and wrap the kids then i shall be done .
his mom is in her 60's but she very much likes things done to suit her and you can have a room full of people chatting and she will turn it round to her , believe me i have seen her do it . like i got told her heart gives her trouble that she cant go out as much well it didnt stop her going to 4 holidays and her club each weekend . but that her way now i wont stop teh kids in seeing her if they want to but why now after 6months and why did she ask to see just the older one and it was when i said that i have 2 kids that she said ye si know i did mean him too these things hurt me and the fact that he can have the little one as yet tired to have contact with him. well this will be his doing and his fault that he as hurt the kids like he has .
i got rid of some more of his junk yest to a friend who could make use of it so that was good . someone tomoz hopefully is going to come and buy the roofbox off me as i would never get to put it on the car im too small for that lol and i would reach to get anything inside it any how so with that money i shall go to the pic next week when we have broken up .
Hi shaz5, and life goes on! I have just been reading your posts over the last week you have so much happening, I can hardly keep up!!
This is still early days for your boys nan and contact etc, well done for holding out the olive branch, it is hard, but it sounds as though you are being fair.
I like what Louise said - about asking her to ensure there was nothing from their dad, as you don't want to break the law 
It is such a complicated time, because I know on the one hand you want their dad to send them fabulous presents and messages, saying he loves them etc etc, but on the other, you don't want him to keep your boys life as stable as possible. I imagine it is the same with contact, you want him to be trying desperately to see both his children against all odds, but again on the otherhand, you want your boys to be protected from any foolishness.
How are you feeling about Friday?
i am very nervous and worried about friday as to what he will plea hoping he will go gulity to save our son court but he wont . hopefully the judge will keep the same bail on till after the case as been done . this is all alien to me and the world of police cps lawyers and courts is not nice to be in but not my choice ::(( .
this is his doing and his selfish ways are getting in his way of seeing the boys . il see what she says and when she wants to see the boys but the police were keen as to why she wanst to see them now and what is it she as for them that she cant say or post !! just hope he as not done something foolish and gone through her not his solic . im so scared as to what friday will bring but i cant turn the clocks back and he cant carry on bullying me .
last night my son was ill at school so i have him, off today he looks pale least he as not been sick again through the night and the little one chest is bad today so keeping eye on him . cold today playground will be fun in the cold
Hope both your sons will soon be better, lots of nasty bugs around at the moment.
You will feel relieved to get Friday over and done with. At least you have been reassured about the procedure if your boy has to give evidence as you have been to see what happens.
Stay strong, it is not long now
xxx
morning what a cold and rainning day we have today not nice at all . my son is alot better today so thats good just waiting for them to wake up see how he is then . yes there alots of bugs going round always the same at christmas . my little one as his school party today and a party at beavers later so he is going to be high and then he came home with yet another birthday party for next year . he so popular that he always gets asked lol
Evening ladies...just a quick 'hello' as I am having an early night. Working the late tomorrow until 8pm...but thinking of you all xx
well the day as come , its the day im dreading . in my heart i know what it is he going to plea and that is not gulity . it is so scary even though i now that what i am doing is the right thing to stand up to hm it doesnt make it any better . to do this after we spent nearly a quarter of our life together hurts . it is his doing and time after time i keep telling myself this it was his choice to hit me and to do this in front of our son is lowest of the low as he will not get that image out of his head even with all the help i get him x least with him going today i will know either way and if we have to go to court least we will know when those days will be in away so we can but it to the back of minds till then .
this day is tinged with saddness too that our marriage ended like this and that i have to force him to sign the divorce papers too which is also going to happen today ! he wont be a happy bunny today . would be lovely to be a fly on the wall to see his face when they hand him them papers. as i have taken the control of the divorce out of his hands and its me that is control of doing it, he wont like it at all . he did threaten me about the divorce saying he didnt want it yet wasnt thinking that way for 2 or 5 years down the road and if i forced him he would take me to the gutter, id lose the house the kids and end up having to pay for it all and in a bedsit on my own. how wrong his he im not on my won i have the boys and the house and as yet not in the gutter !
i think it is this that im saddest for as i never wanted to be divorced but it wasnt my doing . people say and have said that they think he didnt want to leave he just wanted his fling and to see how it planned out that is why he never wanted to go in for the divorce . that may be the case but i really want and need closesure and i dont want to be left just in case or what if he chooses to come back. i could never go back after what he as done the lying the cheating the trust as gone and i feel that can not be worked back. yes i know that the hitting bit is wrong too it is time to close that chapter and move on . ]
it as yet to be closed but little pieces at a time is what i have to do as i have to wait for the courts . so i guess after today after he signs the papers, tecn i will be divorced just having to wait for it to become final then there will be the money and the kids to sort out . i know that if he dosent loss his job i am going to get him to pay for the house and the kids it as to be through a contact centre only . if he does loses his job then that will be my next fight to keep it and get help . im not proud that i have to go for the soical for help but it is my boys home and he wont take that away without me going down for it . he as his life now
well cant believe we break up today from school least we have no snwo as yet like they said we may have had . my neighbour who as been so fab with me through this started his chemo yest so im praying to mad that it works xxx hope everyone as a lovely day
Hi shaz
We are thinking of your today.......and sending you strength and positive vibes.
After he has signed the divorce papers, then it will go before a judge and then a decree nisi will be granted. Six weeks after this, your solicitor can apply for a decree absolute but your solicitor will want to know that all the money affairs are sorted out as well.
Good luck and let us know how you get on
Thinking of you shaz...
Shaz5 will be thinking of you, hope all works out well today
I really, really hope things are ok.
xxxxxxx
morning all thank you for your support there is not much i can say as i have not been informed of how friday went . whether he had the divorce papers handed to him , whether he signed then what he pleaded . i was upset with womens aid as i texted my helper twice friday and even rang her , she did say that she was going to go friday to see how it went put not heard . i tired cps too they were really good and said it would be near monday or tues before they heard . my solic said that she would phone me and never did so i rang her and she was at court so im no where any wiser and it as got me down . i wanted to know the outcome of his bail more than anything else really . my son as gotten upset as he thinks that he as to see him and keeps telling me that i cant make him and i have not got a clue as to where i go for help with that one !
then yest morn i recieved a letter from his solic asking for me to resume my ex in seeing the kids and to have contact again so that sent me in a panic thinking the bail as been taken off then he as got xmas presents for the kids and wants his mate to bring them to the house so i got confused as the bail been taken away ?? i recieved a letter in oct aweek before he went to court again and i sent that to my solic and she told me that hse would deal with that so when letter it states that they have not had anything from me i was worried as to whether i have broken the law but my cousin said that was what my divorce lawyer should be dealing with not me so looks like i have a round of calls to make tomorrow and hopefully i will get abit of light to what went on friday . im like a tumbler drier going inside not knowing things . he as not tried to trext or call my son so this makes me think that the bail is still there i really need stay calm but it is hard always happens at a weekend when you cant get hold of anyone and to top the lot i have the hospital in the morn so things will have to wait bit till i get home . thsi is physcio so i need to go to help me over xmas .
well i had a nice suprise yest my dad came to see me and for the first time he meet the boys . my parents broke up when i was 4 then when i was 10 my mom stopped me seeing him then 29 years later i found him and we kept intouch but his wife doesnt know as she doesnt except me and is worreid to what i am after nothing just want to know my dad. it is sad but he calls me every day when he can but to meet the boys was nice and he gave me £200 pound for xmas to treat myself which i cried . i brought myself michael buble cd and i got some lego for the kids to wrap up from him it was only something small the rest im going to treat to clothes .it was lovely that he did this and it made it extra special xmas for me .
well today i have friends coming down form blackpool to see us and to exchange presents so looking forward to that later then i await for tomoz
Hi shaz5
The not knowing must be agony. You do need to make some calls tomorrow, as you say. And there is no need for you to deal with his solicitor.
How wonderful to see your dad, but I feel sad that you have not been able to integrate your families as his new partner is resentful of you. Unfortunately, people can think that others are looking for some inheritance when all you want is to get to know your parent. But I am glad he did give you a bit of money anyway!
Have a good day with your friends. This time next year, shaz, you will look back at this time, you will wonder how you ever got through but you will feel very proud of having done so
I'm so sorry that you're none the wiser.
I do hope you can get some information tomorrow.
xxx
morning all after the weekend and yesterday last night i had a better sleep. i also got all the wrapping done so im now ready xx
i did do all the calls i needed to do and i did get upset , my ex pleaded not gulity so the 23 feb we go to trial :( i will go the week before to have a look around the court and take my son with me . i was hoping that my ex may found alittle heart and not allowing us to go through this but is was not to be . the police told me that he was told that our son as given evidence and that by going to crown court he faces a heavier sentence but he as still choosen to go this way . so i have to get through that when feb comes .
then i will have to get things ready in place for the house so i will make a call to the lender in the new year to try to get help or to get things ready just in case the worst comes to it. there has to be help so that we can stay here it would be cheaper to stay here than to move us into a rented house this is what im hoping for .
he did sign his divorce papers too so that will go its course now i would have loved to be a fly when that happened as he wouldnt have been happy . the bail conditions have not been taken off and remain the same so he cant see our son to which my son is happy . i have allowed my ex's mate to come to the house to drop off xmas presents for the boys and if his mom decides to call wanting to see the boys then i shall go but in town in a coffee shop . but with both i shall be careful of what i say and to what they say to me too .
went to physo yest they are happy with the hand though they the police was not happy that i had yet to be signed off from the hospital and that there was a lump still .
well i face another day and i can breathe alittle better knowing what he as gone with , if there was hope that he could mend the bridge between him and his son after goinmg to court i think it as gone now, i do hope in time they may be able to talk together but i will not push or get involved in that that will be up to my son.
today he is off to his mates for abit so i have only the little one so we shall do shops i think, least with him i can go clothes shops too lol a bag of sweets helps there :) got to get the tyre looked at on the car as i think i have a slow puncture and with going away xmas i need to get that checked.
there is no no need to think of what is going to happen in feb till nearer the time and i will not allow it to spoil our christmas it as been his doing and his path then after it i will aloow myself to have a party to shred this behind and then do the sky dive
Hi shaz 5 sorry to hear that he did not plead guilty, and your right don't let him spoil the holidays, hope you get your tyre sorted and enjoy the clothes shopping, are you buying something for you?
Hi shaz5, I have been away from the boards, but I was thinking of you on Friday.
It is a pain to have to wait until Feb now, it just seems to drag on, but you will get to the end at some point. Hopefully it will be his downfall taking it to Crown Court.
It sounds as though you are feeling this is out of the way for the time being and you can put it behind you over Christmas, I hope you and the boys have a super one.
I used to do that. I did it when my Mum died and I did it with the divorce.
Then my Aunty (well, best friends with my Mum and Dad) took me to a lent event at the Church I went to at the time. It was about four years after my Mum died. You had to sit in silence... I had to leave the room and sobbed buckets in the kitchen. I think - as does my Aunty - that I did need to stop and cry those tears.
Do take care.
I do hope the appointment goes ok today.
xx