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I don't know what to say, but anyone that has read your posts, can quite clearly see that you are in need of help. You're clearly petrified of this man, you say he is threatening you, so if One Space have informed others, it's for the best. The powers that be, are looking out for you Imdoingthis, and this can only be a good thing can't it.
Well it's not good because children's services are there for the children and that's all good and well,
I need someone for me , to get me through this , the way things have taken a turn it's on the cards I'll go back to him this week.
If I don't get the support I need to get through this then that don't help my kids.
I'd started the freedom program and found this help so that was helping,
I know Iv had help before, MARAC twice, home office alarm , etc etc this just worked for me , I don't do talking bit I'm good at writing it down it just works for me
All I can say is that without you being completely honest on here then it is difficult for me to offer help/advice. After all you have written previously of 'things to have taken a turn its on the cards.....etc) it is very hard to understand. I undertand his attraction and I understand your feeling the need to be cagey. I had an ex wife who I kept turning to as she was the only person I felt I had. Yet she was treating me like shit, stealing money for drink/drugs - she wouldnt work, making false allegations etc. Yet when she apologised I kept forgiving her and trying again for the sake of our child. I woke up and realised it for what it was - a very sick relationship. It was killing me and almost did. I would wager if you go back to this chap, you will be in the same place again in the future. One of you has to change to stop the cycle keep repeating. You cant change him - u can only change you. The answer is simple then??? If only life was!!! 
hun i av to b honest yes social services and cafcass will sewe ur putin ur kids at risk luk at my situation i ncorut, i got told by judge and cafcaass i didnt protect my kids as i kept avin my ex bk, i was gutted, i never saw it like tht u c, then to b told im 1 step from care procedings and if iav anythin to do with my ex again my kids are at risk, so hun i am being honestbut wots confusin is there is 2 kids already livin with him so they musnt no wot he is bout then,or tht he is a riskxx all them agencies dont av a clue hun they avnt bin in our shoes, they dont ynderstandat all, x
hun and u no if u go bk to hin things wil get alot worse believe me, and kids wil suffer, do u want tht hun, u av left bfore remember,xx
No they don't have a clue Kiera x
really so they think hes great dad and great man, yet ur bloody suffering, x
Some pple are bloody good liars and manipulators. My ex keeps playing the victim. She has portrayed me to be a really nasty guy and the authorities (social services in particular) seem to believe her. I have no criminal record. Yet the guy she is now married to has ABH, Battery and several threats on his record and they are fawning over them to help keep them together as a family. He says he has stopped drinking but he has rang me up sounding worse for wear and demanding money. I know at some stage they will trip themselves up but there are appear to be too many do gooders who keep giving pple the benefit of the doubt and sometimes our own actions dont always help ourselves - unwittingly. Hmmmmmm
Hi imdoingthis. As everyone else is saying dont give up on this site, I dont always post but always follow whats been happening with you guys & you were doing well & will do well again, dont let the scumbag win. Not matter what you think or what has happened please believe me lots of people care about you.
I am also really pleased that you kiera are much stronger & much more settled. Good on you.
So Imdoingthis kiera, all charlie, hazel eyes, me etc etc all want to see you get out of this dark tunnel. Your life is precious dont ever let anyone drive you to think about ending it. The guys at one space care about you too, they also have to ensure that members are kept safe.
You take care & I hope that you find some peace. Big cyber hug n luv 2u. xx
aw thanks fizzy lizz, i am alot stronger now i got rid of my ex, and my kids alot happier, just got court to go thru but cross tht bridge when it appensxx
Hello I'm doing this, I hope you can see what a lot of support you have on here and all the people that have posted really care about you and what happens.
You mentioned about the agencies and that you were worried about them finding out you were letting him back into your house, if this is still happening then please stop letting him in, it is putting yourself at risk especially if he is threatening you. You are clearly so scared and it seems you feel that people from the agencies are not seeing the seriousness of your concern
Hope you got some decent sleep.
Yes I know what a good support I'd got from people on here hense the fact why I'm so upset I carnt talk on here now, no one can help me if they don't know what going on. I guess that's the aim isn't it? They don't want people like me writing on their boards. I have a question ok how has it helped me and my situation, have you any idea how hard it to talk about what's going on, how ashamed I feel, but now I won't be telling no one it's back to silence again. Agencies carnt see how he's f****** up the minds of my kids. I'm past caring what he does to me anymore in fact I'm past caring about anything it's hopeless Crawls back into her box and shuts the lid..
Dear Imdoingthis
One Space does have safeguarding duties and they are concerned for your wellbeing.
I have worked with many women who have been in abusive relationships and seen the damage that has been done to their mind, soul and inner core. I feel your ex has done a very good job on you and you have been unable to find the professional support that you need to help you work through this.
You say that you have found that the freedom programme has helped. I am wondering if you can give the agency a call and talk to someone there. Perhaps the facilitator of the group? Someone who understands the effects of living with an abuser for so many years.
One Space does want people like you on these boards. You are alone and vulnerable and at one time or another members of this team have all been there.
I can see how hard it has been for you to talk, but I think you have started to find a way to express yourself through writing the poems. It is very difficult to put into words the experiences that you have been through, but you are finding a channel through the poetry and that is positive.
You may feel ashamed, but that is an emotion that your ex has instilled in you. You are a bright intelligent woman who has been through hell and you need help to get back on your feet.
You are not past caring about your children's wellbeing, I can see that. You are fed up of fighting, searching, having the finger pointed at you after you are doing everything within your power to 'do the right thing'.
Please will you let me know that you have called the freedom programme agency?
Thankyou Anna For your reply.
I see little point in ringing anyone, I just don't
I understand that you just think you are not being heard. I was wondering if the freedom programme has connections with Women's Aid? It feels to me as if they are the people who can give you some help through this by being in touch with you on a regular basis.
And I echo Anna's comments, we DO want you on here, you have not said anything out of turn, you are sharing your feelings and that is good.
I have Been halted from posting my thoughts and feelings Or anything for that matter unless I want to run the risk of my children being put on protection plans.
I have had enough
holle to evreone im single dad i have 1 boy 6 yers old and i look for relationship ? im single 4yers i look aftr my son im 33 and i live cardiff swas wels if in one want know abou me and my son you can tax me tis nambr thanks
this isnt dateing site mate
Hello karim. Good to see you on this site, but it's just a support group for single parents (which you are) To protect yourself, you really need to delete your number. Perhaps you could go over to the 'introduce yourself' thread, and tell us more about yourself.
Dear Imdoingthis, it is your choice if you choose not to ring anyone. Only you can be the one to decide when you want to be listened to and when you want to reach out, sorry if you felt I was pushing.
You have not been halted from writing on these forums, as Louise has pointed out you have not said anything out of turn and it is very obvious that you are concerned for your childrens wellbeing and doing everything within your power to protect them.
Which you are!! You left...You are doing this....It is a battle, it won't be easy, but you are more in control of your life than ever before, now the hard thing is to OWN that and do what is right for you, without someone else telling you what to do.
What do you think would help? If you could be given absolutely anything to help you get your life back on track, what would it be?
And the last straw that broke the camels back
Imdoingthis, what was the last straw? Please try and explain.
I carnt post freely So talking in codes no good cos no one knows what the f*** I'm on about Sorry hazleyes I feel betrayed as being Inonamus gave me confidence to talk and work through things. It's like writing a personal diary then finding out everyone's read it without you knowing.
Anna Iv thought about your question alot and not sure I can say.
hi hun im really worried for u, im upset txtin this, ope u are ok, thinkin of u, xxplease dont let this man break ux
People that visit here me weekly now have acses to this, know it's me how do you think that's made me feel.
Personal things, I'm writing so of course I'm halted as it's stopped me when this was my support network.
Hi Kiera thanks
This has just pushed me over the edge , you guys was all I had.
I feel so upset Kiera over this I carnt tell you.
I'm sick and tired of feeling like this
I know I carnt live another day in this nightmare
Imdoingthis, please keep posting, or the way you're feeling right now, call the Samaritans. They don't know who you are, but will listen to you, and not judge either. I'm still not really understanding how anyone you know, or visits you, knows that it is you that is writing on here. There are thousands of women just like you Imdoingthis, so it's very unlikely that they could connect you. I'm so sorry if I'm not getting what you're saying, but I'm trying so hard too, honestly.
If you go back to this man, then you have let him win, and you've fought for so long for this not to happen. Like someone has already said, he won't change, only you can. You're the only one that can help yourself and your children. They need you to keep fighting their corner too.
Hazeleyes I know your right that's why it hurts reading it
Sorry I carnt explaine it some more but they know it's me for sure
Sorry, I didn't mean for it to hurt you.
How about writing in poem form? Would that help you in any way? Get all of your feelings out, instead of bottling them up.
Have you given any thought to ringing the Samaritans? Are the children with you tonight?
hi hun how do u no they no its u on ere , how, are u bein paranoid, cos bein with man like tht for ages can make u paranoid,but u go bk to tht man ur problams wil get whole lot worse, yes myt b fyn for couple weeks but won t last as these men are very gud actors, they shud get awards for there top actin, u and ur kids are bettre off without man like tht, dad or no dad, me and my kdis alot happier not ive got rid, yeah tuk court and police for me to get rid of him but it workedxx anythin possible hunx
I remember kiera first coming on One Space, and the difference in her now is remarkable. She was absolutely petrified, and now she seems so much stronger. Imdoingthis, you can be where kiera is now, just stay strong and battle through each day, for you and your children.
Kiera is on line now, so am sure she'll keep you company for a while. I need to sort my son out for bed. Really hope you're okay tonight.
You didn't hurt me the truth did x
Iv wrote shed loads of poems in the last week there just upsetting I guess.
When I write it down it makes it real and I read it and it's not me that that's happend to.
hi hun im ere for u, yes if u read all my threads i was total mess a wreck to b honest, terrified, but alot bettre and if i can do it u can , not over yet as hes draggin me thru court, but i expected tht, me and my kids are alot happier with tht man out of our lives , and u can b to, u really can,.ur stronger than u think, u really are, ur kids need u hunxx
Because Im not sure who's stalking me,
I'm not able to explaine this but please understand I 100% KNOW the agencies KNOW it's me, it's not questionable , I havnt guessed at this, I KNOW as fact they know it's me.
il b ere for u hun tonytxx
I carnt do it it's game over
Thanks I think Iv gave up
hi hun do u mean stalkin u on ere, scary thinkin ur ex or whoever cud b readin ur messages, how is tht possible thox
hun please dont say tht, im worried now, where are ur kidsx
halel eyes im really worried bout im doin this, feel helplessxx
It's ok my kids are here they are fine in bed
They are all settled in bed, older two watching their tvs
im on ere tonyt ok hun and spk to u when u want to spkxxmy little girl in bed, my son goin bed nowx my eldest son revisingx
Thankyou Kiera I just feel so trapped , did you ?
sorry hun just washin up lol, yes i felt very trapped, didnt no how to get out of my sham of a relationship, kept goin round in circles al tym, he let me down so much and playe dalot mind games with me, didnt no whether i was cumin and goin, rang ploice but kept goin bk to him so felt stupid, then i said i wasnt ringin police cos felyt id getin trouble and sum i felt were patronising, felt stupid, makin me ill, ad kids think bout, finished it for gud in may, ad ring police twice as he wudnt leave me alone, following me, turnin up bangin on m ywindowsx
Yes I'm 'cadgy' for a reason. Agencies that are involved know about my posting, onespace have safeguarding duties, maybe those agencies don't see a woman that needs help but one that's putting her kids at risk by alowing him into her home. So I'm f***ed.