hello
Hi Sparkling
The way it is going, I shall spend a week in DIY. My tv is playing up (again). Now watching it in green!!!!!!!! My fridge freezer is playing up, and I'm just about finished paying for it. I can't afford to do it all over again.
If I don't laugh about these things, I will sit and cry and if I won't let a man get the better of me, I'll be damned if electrics will!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Sadsy
I guess it is an oldish tv. It isn't flatscreen, but it's only 7 years old. It is widescreen. I have been having trouble with it ever since I bought a cheap digi box at the beginning of the year. (I think it is that).
Sorry you had such a bad pick up. In a way you were expecting it weren't you. I think it's better that way, (at least you know it's coming). Hope Luke is ok now, and you all 3 of you having a great weekend together.
Take care
Alison
x :)
Sending hugs to get you through the drop off!
Hi Pansy
You're not a bad mum, just going through rough time lately. I am dreading the teen years with my son. When he was little, and I was constantly tired, my friend told me it got easier. Now her children are teenagers, she is telling me it gets harder!
I am getting much support from here, seeing how parents of teenagers cope. You are doing a super job. It can't be easy for you, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Just take one day at a time, and lots of deep breathes I guess!
Take care, and have a good day
Alison
x :)
Good luck for next week.
At least you'll be out a lot and have time away to focus on.
Hope your daughter has a better day today.
xx
Hi Pansy
It is good that you are able to get out a bit next week when ex is there, and great you are able to get away for the weekend. I hope (if he is depressed) that it doesn't get you down too much. I realise that it going to hard though.
Only recently have I been made aware of how a person with depression can have an effect on someone else. My son's half sister's mother has depression, and everyday she speaks to me. I seem to feel so drained when we speak, and last Friday I spent half the day crying. I realised that I was being pulled down, (through no fault of hers of course)
I wish you well Pansy, and a better day today.
Alison
x :)
Hi alisoncam
That's sad if another person's unhappiness brings you down like that. Have a think about how much this drains you. You know what? I am a great believer in looking at the people around us and seeing who drains us and who boosts us up. On the whole it is good to spend time with the boosters. That is not to say break all contact with drainers, but we can restrict the time and headspace we spend on them and set boundaries eg "I will speak to x for 30 minutes and after that I will have a treat, which will be......." It's not being mean, it is just looking after yourself :)
By the way did you pick up on what sparkling lime said about joining your local Freecycle online?
Hello Pansy
Sounds like you have had a really stressful evening yesterday :( How tempting it is to say "well, phone your dad, then!" I guess it comes into the same category as the thing I sometimes said to mine ie. "huh! just like your father". In other words they are things we know we shouldn't say but sometimes we just cannot resist. Now that you have said it then maybe you wouldn't say it again? That does not make you a bad Mum, it makes you a normal Mum who sometimes makes mistakes but learns from them.
So, the visit looms once again :shock: There are bound to be mixed emotions and you are going to have to drum up every ounce of strength. Remember:you are NOT responsible for him and he has made his choices
You mentioned counselling, I wonder if you think this would help support you through these tough months? Your GP can refer you for six free sessions but there tends to be a waiting list so it might be worth getting on the list sooner rather than later.
Take care, Pansy :)
Hi Louise
I have taken your advise, and have to admit, I didn't answer phone. I'm ashamed to say this, but today of all days, didn't want to be dragged down. I have had a good birthday, apart from my son moaning earlier :lol:
My friend came round and we shared a bottle of wine, (sorry for that word Pansy) :lol:
Going to put my little babe to bed soon, (son that is), but at moment, we are having party on our own.
I have had a good day, (my friend brightened me up, and I have to say all messages on here). I haven't been on here long, but you have made me so welcome, and I don't feel so alone anymore, so a BIG THANKYOU to everyone.
Sadsy, I hope the drop off went ok, and you had a fab time with the kids.
Mousie, I hope your little girl is looking forward to tomorrow
Sparkling, I hope you feel so much better, and the garden is looking better now a few weeds have been pulled!!!!!!
Louise, I hope you are having a fab weekend
Anna, I hope yours is going good too
For all other members, have good evening.
:) :)
So glad you've had a good birthday.
xxx
Thankyou Sadsy. Had great day, :)
Just had phone call from hospital regarding a blood test for my son. Got to go tomorrow. I have chased this up all summer holiday. My 7 year old has been having tummy pains since March. GP referred him to hospital, which came for June. In the weeks leading up to this, I took him off wheat, and what a difference! I explained all this to consultant, and then went off for his blood test. The consultant had explained that because I had taken son off wheat for a few weeks, the result could come back negative. He seemed to think my son could be coeliac. The results were negative, and I was due to see the consultant again in August. Appointment came through for NOVEMBER. I rang every week to get it changed, no luck, so then asked for consultant to ring me. (He had told me to put son back on wheat, or as much as he could stand). Finally got a call a few days before school started. I explained that I had put him back on wheat, and pains were everyday. He then said, another blood test could be done, but I explained that I couldn't leave him on wheat now he was starting school again. For a whole week, my son has been off it, and now he got blood test tomorrow. If this shows negative, then he will have a bowel biopsy, (dreading that). I come out in a sweat thinking of blood test, though he does have magic cream, (I insist on that). Nurses don't actually like doing it, because it takes a while to work. (Tough). If son is coealic, then i will get help in buying certain things, it's very expensive. Will fill him with lots of food with wheat in between picking up from school and tomorrow afternoon.
Take care all
Alison
x :)
Poor little poppet, alisoncam and what a worry for you. It does sound as if that's the link but you will have to wait and see what the test says. If he does need special food, we will pool our knowledge to see if you can get some extra cash to help.
Good luck with it all, It's horrid when they have tests isn't it?
Oh Alison, I'm so sorry your son - and you - are having to go through this. Someone I know went through similar with their son, and he had to go back onto the wheat, which made him ill, just so show it was the wheat that was making him ill! He's doing well now.
I'll be thinking of you.
Thankyou, Louise and Sparkling
It is horrible for my son, and horrible for me watching him in pain. He's got to the stage now where he says he's used to it, bless him. Been sitting here thinking i'm going to let him have tomorrow off school. I can then build a bit more wheat up in his system. He does understand when I explain it to him. He just wants the pain to stop altogether.
How did you get on today with the nurse Sparkling? Hope all ok with the bite.
x :)
My heart goes out to you, it really does. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
She is 99% certain it is a bite and I need anti-biotics. Have to go back to the surgery later as there was no GP there. I've not had anything like this before!
Ask for four, and see what they say. Put your reasons down as to why you need four...
Hi all, I have been working on other One Space stuff and missed so much on these boards, they are soo busy!
Alisoncam
“JSB will still be ok for me, because I'm still able to look for work the rest of the time. Hopefully, I'm getting this right”
Any questions you have of this nature, feel free to ask in the Benefits Changes and you, as Sally our researcher will be able to give you an informed answer.
“I seem to feel so drained when we speak, and last Friday I spent half the day crying. I realised that I was being pulled down”
I used to have the same thing with a couple of my single parent friends, we would share our misery every night, until one day I realised we weren’t helping each other, in fact we were keeping each other down. As Louise says, look after yourself first and notice that if speaking with your son's half sister's mother brings you down, then maybe you need to try and only speak to her every other day or few days, as it is not helping anyone. Good Luck with that.
Oh and Happy Birthday!!
Pansy it sounds like you are really feeling the difficulties of parenting alone at the moment. As everyone else has said, You Are Not A Bad Mum, don't be hard on yourself, life will be going in peaks and troughs. You know that you are in a better position on your own than when you were with your ex. Give yourself time to readjust. When you feel particularly stressed, please consider calling Addiss (The National Attention Deficit Disorder Information and Support Service) on 020 8952 2800.
Did you looked at their website? http://www.addiss.co.uk/
Also remember if it is the middle of the night when you are tearing your hair out and feeling at the end of your tether, call the Samaritans, they have excellent workers, who will help you explore your feelings and look at ways forward. Their number is 08457 90 90 90
I hope this week is going well for you and everyone is behaving. :?
Hi Sadsy
You are not caving in at all. Emotionally and physically you are tired. For the last few weeks, I have felt exactly the same. I do the essential things like washing, ironing, cooking, but the cleaning has taken a back burner. I don't mean it is filthy or anything, but I haven't been keeping up with it.
I am sure your date won't mind about paint on walls, but the bed thing is tricky. Hate to say this Sadsy, I'm sure you know what you are doing, but if she comes with baggage and trouble, is it a good idea to get too involved so early on. I'd hate to think she might drag you down, because you are feeling so low at the moment. Don't mean to butt in or anything Sadsy, just thinking of you.
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi all
I took my little lad to the hospital for the blood test. He was soooooooo brave, watching every detail, and there is me looking the other way and squirming!!!
We got there an hour early so I could make sure he got the magic cream. The receptionist said, 'oh, he has the cream does he?'. 'Yes', I said, 'or else he doesn't have it, he is just 7, so I think there is a need for the cream'.
Anyhow, he's had it done, and he didn't feel a thing!!! I plied him with lots of stuff with wheat in last night and this morning.
This test takes longer than a normal blood result, so I shall give them 2 or 3 weeks and ring the hospital for results.
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi Sparkling
How is your bite? Hopefully it is less red and swollen today.
Hi Pansy
I hope you are feeling more up this week. You've got your few days break to look forward too so thats a little lift for you eh.
Hi Mousie
Hope your little girl is enjoying the second week of school and that you are well. Have you been sneaking into the pub???? We have our eyes on you, haha. Ok, only one eye then!!!
:)
Hi all
I took my little lad to the hospital for the blood test. He was soooooooo brave, watching every detail, and there is me looking the other way and squirming!!!
We got there an hour early so I could make sure he got the magic cream. The receptionist said, 'oh, he has the cream does he?'. 'Yes', I said, 'or else he doesn't have it, he is just 7, so I think there is a need for the cream'.
Anyhow, he's had it done, and he didn't feel a thing!!! I plied him with lots of stuff with wheat in last night and this morning.
This test takes longer than a normal blood result, so I shall give them 2 or 3 weeks and ring the hospital for results.
Take care
Alison
x :)
I hope your son isn't feeling too rotten after all the wheat.
I'm so glad that it's done. Big hugs for being so brave! I think that's for both of you!!
xxx
Leg still red and swollen. Hopefully the anti Bs will start to kick in tomorrow...
Oh gosh it's all go at the moment for me.
Plus am really bit down too.
My date has her ex to stay and there are complications..and my place is a tip if she want to stay with me for a break while he has contact. I don't have a bed together for her. Sob. And no paint on the walls.
I've got a mortgage letter for 3 months break that I'm sending. I've re set-up the house insurance for me as Louise had cancelled it. So have done 2 things. Oh my. Really fading badly on the activity level.
Lukes winter boots have come, they are fab. Hope they fit OK, no returns.
Really need to tidy, but just sit much of the time. Am I finally caving in now?
So tired all the time.
hug sy
Seems your doing ok.
Hope you had a good weekend with the children.
I hope the boots fit Luke.
I'm sure things will be fine.
Hi everyone
Hope you're feeling a bit brighter today, Sadsy. Well done re the mortgage letter and insurance.
Alisoncam I am glad your son's blood test has happened, and with not much bother for him, let's see what the results show.
Hope the anti-biotics are helping, Sparkling lime, did you get a decent sleep?
When does your children's dad arrive, Pansy, and how are you feeling about it?
The Killers solves everything. :)
Oh no Sadsy, a spot on the bum :D. Keep your back to the wall hun!!!!
If you're real lucky, the lady in question will tidy for you ;). Have you cupboards and drawers? Pick everything up and hide it all. HEY PRESTO!!!!
When is she visiting? It will go really well.
Stop worrying, or else another spot will appear :lol:
Take care
Alison
x :)
Sadsy
It is understandable that you are experiencing all these worries, especially after the traumatic breakdown of your recent relationship.
New relationships are a minefield, even more so if you are a single parent, there are so many things to consider, first and foremost the effect on the children and then if and what role that person will play in your family life.
I am going to start a new topic in the Relationships and You online group, where single parents can discuss the pros and cons of new relationships, setting boundaries and ways of keeping in control of the new situation.
Hi Sadsy
How's it going, ;) ? I hope you are having an absolutely fantastic time. You deserve some happiness right now. It might give you a lift too!!!!
Have fun
Take care
Alison
x :)
PS. Hows the spot?? ;)
Hello one and all
Sparkling, I just wanted to ask how your bite was and also about your leg today. Did you hear from social services?
Hello one and all
Sparkling, I just wanted to ask how your bite was and also about your leg today. Did you hear from social services?
I took the plaster off yesterday... :shock: :mrgreen: I put another on. I've never seen anything like it in my life before - well not on me.
I've had an awful migraine today, not long been up.
Nothing from the social services yet.
Can't beat polyfilla!!
Hope the sun keeps shining.
Hi sparkling lime
Ooh that bite sounds really nasty, poor you :( . You must have been fed up getting a migraine as well! The only good side of it is being able to stay in your jamas. I will be interested to know what help/support social services think they can offer with your mobility difficulty. Hopefully you will have a better weekend and the children will enjoy being out and about.
Hello mousie
The DIY queen is on the march again! Sounds like a case of doing one job and then needing to do another...Happy decorating, let us know how you get on.
Hi all
My weekend has kicked off to a terrible start. I've just had a phone call from my sister, (haven't spoken to her since May). She told me that another sister has just been told she has cancer of the colon. (I haven't spoken to her since May either). We spoke about that for a while, then she drops another bomb shell, she has skin cancer, but luckily the consultant said it's the 'good' one. My sister with the colon cancer will know more next week. The surgeons or consultants are having a meeting next Friday, and then my sister will know more. She doesn't know if it has spread, (please God it hasn't). I have tried to phone her, but her husband said she was on the loo, and he would tell her I called. I'm hoping she will ring me back, if not, I shall try again later. What a b....... bombshell.
My son saw me crying, and so I've explained about cancer. He has seen adverts that say Cancer can kill, so i've had to explain that yes, sometimes it can, but sometimes doctors can help with different meds. I couldn't tell him that his Auntie will be ok, because I honestly don't know the answer.
Life just keeps chucking s...
My ex rang me at 8.30 this morning. I told him that I just needed to talk to someone last night, but that it wasn't an invitation for him to enter back into my life.
I hope you are all well.
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi all
Have just spoken to my sister. We had a laugh together, which was great. We spoke about many things to do with the cancer. It did get a bit morbid at times, but she wanted to talk about such things, and I learnt from my Dad (he died of cancer), that if the patient talks about death, funerals etc, to let them no matter how hard it is to hear. It is all part of coming to terms with the whole thing.
Anyhow, my sister talked, I listened. She laughed, I cried and laughed.
I don't feel the doctor acted as quickly as she should have. My sister was rushed in to hospital last Sunday. Her symptoms have been since June, and her weight loss is drastic. I also see the same doctor, and always thought she was excellent, but this has definately made me think. I'm not of course blaming the doctor, just that she should have sent my sister for tests when the weight loss was evident on each visit.
My Dad was being treated for months for indigestion, tried every medicine going for it, and was diagnosed with cancer of the gullet. By the time it was discovered, (again with extreme weight loss), the cancer had spread to the liver.
Sorry guys, being really miserable here today, but it is helping me to write it down.
Take care
alison. x :)
Hi Alison
I'm so saddened by your post. It's good that you've spoken to your sisters. What terrible news you've heard today. I'm so sorry that this has been added to the pot.
Sounds like you were strong with the ex.
Loads and loads of hugs.
xxx
You should put it into the DIY section, Alison!
So glad you got in. :)