hello
Hi Sadsy
My heart goes out to you. I can't possibly understand what you are going through, and seeing the kids 2 nights a month is definately wrong. Your ex has and is treating you and the children badly, there is no getting away from that. She is fighting against you, but in the process, is also fighting against what the children want too.
Of course the children have to know that you are doing everything in your power to see them, and that you love them. They know you are a good dad, and nothing will ever take that away from them.
You are going through so much hell right now, but you've got determination.
Hugs for you
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi all
Had a good day today. I took my son shopping, then he went off out with a friend of mine. Due back soon, but had bit of peace for few hours!!! Been checking things out on e.bay, never used them before, but i've had good feedbacks about them, so i might give it a go at some point. I've also been watching tv programme, bid whatever. The products can be very cheap, but you pay quite a bit in postage, so i'll look into that a bit more. I see all these lovely things, and wish, and wish, and wish. Oh well,
I spoke to my sister earlier, (the one with cancer). I am going to see her at the end of the week to do some more cleaning for her. She is doing ok, and keeping her spirits up. No news yet on when she starts chemo, a matter of weeks she thinks.
I hope you are all having a good day.
Take care
Alison
x :)
I really do wish you well Sy.
I've offended you, and I'm sorry.
You're right I don't understand.
I'll leave this thread now, but honestly, I do wish you well, and will have everything crossed that things work out well.
that's good to know.... Guess I'm not leaving then?! :)
That is also good to know Sparkling :)
Sparkling lime, we need you and value you! :D
Hello sadsy
What a nightmare! You're right, most of the members on these boards don't know what it is to have the children two nights a month. But you receive excellent support here. None of us have exactly the same experiecne here but many of us have gone through separations and the awful experience of having bureaucracy taking over our lives. Most of us understand the financial pressures too :shock: I think it is fantastic the friendships you have built up here.
If you would like to share with other dads in a similar position then look at http://dads-uk.co.uk/main/news.php
But stay with us, too!!! :D
Hello alisoncam
Did you enjoy your slice of "me" time yesterday? What plans for today? I am sure your sister will be pleased to see you. In one sense she will be keen to get on with the chemo and on the other hand she will be nervous, so it is great she has you :D Hope you are sleeping a bit better
Hi Louise
How are you? It was lovely to get some 'me' time yesterday. I did absolutely nothing :lol: My son was taken to a model village of the 1930's, and really enjoyed it. He was full of it when he came back! I have promised to take him to Burger King today (that is a treat for him). He's still in bed, so he isn't going to be too happy with me when he wakes :evil: A friend of mine rang late last night, to see if I could look after her son for a few hours this morning. Of course I said yes, as she has been called into work. My son and this boy get on occassionally, buttttttt :lol:
Anyhow, hopefully I can smoothe things over.
I also need to get on the phone to trading standards etc regarding this BT business. I just couldn't deal with it yesterday, but it has to be done. :evil:
My sister has a friend who is going through chemo, so she has been able to speak to her about it. (I'm really glad she has someone to talk to about that). I didn't realise but there are so many different types of chemo. I'm sure my sister said 35!!!! I told my sister yesterday that I think she is handling things so well, but as she explained, it is when she is on her own, that everything swims round her head, and she finds herself sinking.
I hope you have a good day, bit drizzly here, hope the sun shines later.
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi alisoncam,
Good luck with the two boys! ;)
I have posted a website link on the money bit for you, here it is again http://www.consumerdirect.gov.uk/
Yes, there are lots of different sorts of chemo depending on what type the doctors think will be most effective. A close friend of mine found that the best wasy to cope with chemo was to think of it "one cycle at a time" So, if your sister's treatment is every three weeks for example, then it is a three-week cycle. My friend found the idea of one day at a time a bit difficult as each day can be so challenging, so one cycle at a time felt like a three-week "journey" for her, in that towards the end of each cycle there were some really good days and they were the reward for the harder days at the beginning, if you see what I mean.
Take care and hope you see the sun today
Hi all
The boys are playing in the bedroom, and my son was delighted to learn he had some one coming round!!!!! (misread that one then) :lol: :lol:
I have volunteered to have the boy longer than planned. (I always end up doing this)! Hopefully, the two will get on all day, (wishful thinking maybe).
Hi Sadsy, I hope you are feeling ok today. So much going on for you right now, but we are all here to give you support and hugs :)
Hi C-L. Hope you are enjoying your mini break at your parents.
Sun keeps peeping out, but soon disappears again.
Take care all
Alison
x :)
Good morning all
The two boys got along really well. A few arguements, but nothing too serious, thank goodness. My son's bedroom, which was practically spotless, is now trashed, so guess what I'll be doing today? :D (Not)
I hope you are enjoying the hols as much as me
Take care
Alison
x :)
NOOOO!!! Not the bedroom... ;)
xxx
Well done alisoncam for surviving the visit yesterday, your boy can help untrash his room now heh heh....
Hi C-L
Really glad you all enjoyed the break, and you've arrived home safely. The weather has been really good hasn't it? Had a quiet day here today, after the noise yesterday, I needed it!!! Hope to grab an early night too, didn't sleep too well last night, and up early this morning. Maybe tomorrow, I'll treat myself to a lie in.
Hope you have a good evening. Maybe after the journey, the children might give you a early night too!!!
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi Pansy
I think that it is really good of you to say your ex can not only have the kids for christmas, but also take the dog.You are such a fair person Pansy. Are the children excited about Christmas and spending it with their Dad, or don't they know yet?
That must have been extremely hard to decide on the dog too.
I hope you have a lovely weekend with the BF.
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi Pansy
My sister is doing ok at the moment thanks. She is waiting on the chemo, which they can't give for a few weeks because of the operation. She is still unsure what type she is having. Obviously she is very nervous about it, but she is staying strong and positive. I speak to her nearly every day, plan to go over today or tomorrow. She needs help with the hoovering, which of course I don't mind doing for her. Don't like doing my own of course ;)
What are your own plans for Christmas? Are you planning to spend it with the BF, if the children definately go? You won't be on your own will you? Its now fast approaching, which I always find scary. The weeks certainly whizz by. I find Christmas a bit depressing even though I've got my son. I love all the excitement in the build up to it, then I hit a low patch during the afternoon, thinking of all families together. Even though I have family close by, they now have grandchildren etc, so they are always busy. Friends have partners etc, so its at this time of year where I tend to feel a bit lonely.
Even though you're in need of a break, have you enjoyed the half term with the kids?
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi Claire-Louise
Just in from my sisters. Took my son to macdonalds first, then on to get his halloween costume. My sister is doing so well, and I love seeing her so positive. Today, we didn't really discuss the cancer. When she speaks about it, she knows I'm more than happy to listen and talk, but today, she only mentioned it once. She was delighted to see my son, and he was as good as gold. After I had done some cleaning we sat and helped her with a jigsaw.
She does have grown up children, 2 girls and a boy. She also has 5 grandchildren, 11 years down to the youngest of 1.
I am very tired tonight, so fingers crossed, I get my lie in tomorrow!!!!! I need to get some cleaning done of my own, and I think we have visitors calling round.
Hope you've had a good day.
Take care
Alison
x :)
Glad you've seen your sister, Alison, and that she's doing well.
Not long been in. Came back from my father-in-law's 80th birthday tea at 10.15pm - and then straight to my neighbour's to make sure she got to bed ok.
We had a good evening. I feel I've not been in at all today. Need to get an essay done before 11.30pm tomorrow. Here we go again! A bit of time to call my own would be handy when doing a course. :lol:
Hi Sparkling
How did the ex father-in-laws birthday dinner go? I hope you and the children enjoyed it. How was your son after saying goodbye to his best friend? I hope you are all well. Good luck with your essay today.
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi Sadsy
Just wondering how you are. Really hope you are ok.
Take care, sending you loads of hugs
Alison
x :)
I'm doing politics this time... I'm doing them to learn, which is just as well as I don't seem to be able to pass exams!
We had a really good evening with the in-laws yesteray. So nice to have an ommellette made for me! And home made chips. Even had chocolate gateaux too - mother-in-law spoilt me!
Hope everyone is doing ok.
off to take my neighbour shopping soon, and then to the scout hut to sort out this open afternoon we're having tomorrow.
Yesterday went really well. Meeting Nick helped, of course! 8-)
Managed to recruit one new cub!
Can hardly move today though, and have such an awful headache. I'm not doing anything today!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/14522621@N03/?saved=1
Hope this works.
I will have to knock them onto private later though, as I've said I'll get permission to post them first...
oooh I saw it,I saw it! I can see why you liked the one where he took a photo of himself! thanks for posting those :D
:D
sparkling lime you had a bit of an exciting weekend all round, didn't you? Did you have terrible weather yesterday? I had to drive over to see a friend and my knees were knocking because it was so windy and lashing rain. Are all of yours back at school today?
They're all back at school today.
I was at the GPs - who again was remarkably nice! I find it a bit disconcerting! :lol: He was very nice in the way he tackled my weight, but the only way I have only been fit is by being active. It's over four years since this started - and he nodded and agreed :o
I got a few more questions anwered, and he's supporting my blue badge application and writing to the OU so I can sit exams at home.
I'm sulking as my friend has her 60th birthday party in the place the DIY SOS lot are staying (they'd booked ages before for this party), and while I wasn't bothered I wasn't invited before, hearing about the great time they had I now am! :lol: Sad, I never get invited to parties... 8-)
The weather yesterday was awful. November certainly came in with a bang! Even had thunder in the morning.
Today isn't too bad. Cool, but not too bad. I hate driving in bad weather.
Shame about the party! But glad that the GP was helpful and no usage of the f word ("frustrating")
The weather was Ok on the way back yesterday, but it was the morning that had me worried.
Hope you have had some time to yourself today, sparkling lime :)
Shame about the party! But glad that the GP was helpful and no usage of the f word ("frustrating")
The weather was Ok on the way back yesterday, but it was the morning that had me worried.
Hope you have had some time to yourself today, sparkling lime :)
I know! I sat there expecting 'no' to what I asked as well as that 'f' word! Stunned :)
Phew indeed sadsy! that is a big "to do" list. Hope you get on Ok with it all, I had to smile :) when I saw how far down the list "Bath" is! You should be on Contribution Based JSA for the first six months, based on the National Insurance you paid in the last two years. After six months, people are means tested for the Income-based variety.
Hope your day is fruitful and that you get your horse-ride booked; you deserve a treat :)
Hi Sadsy
Wow, loads to do, and glad you're giving yourself a treat. Good luck with it all.
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi all
Very peaceful here. No cartwheeling, no handstands, no Ben 10 voices, no crayons and paper scattered on the floor. It's PERFECT :lol: :lol:
Yes, my son returned to school today, and guess what???? He's bringing the violin home today. I'm so looking forward to that, (NOT)
He was delighted to go back, so fingers crossed he has a better term. The Headmistress avoided me like the plaque this morning :lol: :lol: I have to laugh when she sees me coming, and she quickly turns the other way.
I hope you are all ok, and the kids have settled back to school.
Louise, I didn't realise your eldest was at uni. You must be so proud, well done :)
Take care all
Alison
x :)
I hope the list is going well Sadsy. I thought I'd posted a reply earlier, but could have possibly saved it to drafts - which means never to be seen again!
I hope you manage to have a ride out tomorrow. I think these "time out" bits are so important.
Alison, when my daughter came home with her violin, I was already to listen to the screeching - and she played it beautifully. I was so sad that she gave it up when she moved to the High School. Here's hoping he plays it beautifully! ;)
Hi all
The good news is my son had a fantastic day. He loved every minute of it, and confessed he didn't miss me AT ALL!!!! The even better news for me is, no violin today!!! The teacher was off sick, so looks like we'll have to wait until next week.
Isn't that a real shame :lol:
I am sure he will play beautifully, but I am more focused at the minute on the screeching. That is the part that is putting me off.
Will keep you all posted.
Have a good evening
Take care
Alison
x :)
Don't you give up Sadsy. This is all being done for Luke and Arwen.
Two nights a month IS NOT right! You know it isn't...
You have all your evidence. I hope the CAFCASS officer is a decent one. You keep calm and be positive.
Direct everything into focusing on the children. What that woman has done to your children is so flaming awful, so flambarding unfair and so out of order. Not at any point has she thought of the children.
You can do this!
Oh yes... Loads of hugs. I've come to think a lot of you Sy, over the months, and have huge respect for you.
xxxxx