hello
Doesn't mention grants though, which it used to do... :cry:
It is sort of like that - far more severe when I moved in here, as my whole body would lock. I keep having to remind myself how bad I was back then - even my fingers hurt.
Even though I went to the GP then, I was told I was fine, even though I couldn't stop crying (at least now I only cry occasionally :D ). I sometimes thing if I had been given anti-depressants then, that maybe I would have been able to pick myself up sooner. The GPs clearly think I'm fine and that being fat causes all my problems - who am I to say they're wrong?
Need to get in and out of car to do the teaching/pupil roles with training. Still the issue of walking down the hill to their house and getting up the steep steps, chancing not being able to get up if I do sit down there - and if my leg locks I can't do steps, terrible pain... See how this leads to a panic attack? So it's all in my head... But GP says that must be frustrating...
Hiding behind the settee won't sort it. I know its easy for me to say. I managed to haul my friend out from behind the settee when her business was in five figures worth of trouble. Hard choices, but she agreed and made them - now has a merc!! Shame I can't do that for me.
Why is it I can never sort me out? :roll:
I'm sorry the figures aren't good. CAB.
Have you looked at the Martin Lewis website?
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/
They have discussions about all sorts there and can help with budgeting.
You do need to live though, so maybe talking things through with your brother might help.
Just please don’t hide. Not with the deadline looming.
I have a friend who does hide, and could have been claiming working tax credits for a while, and having a bit of help with rent – I do the accounts, so know this. All I can do is suggest it though. The friend never pays, as not in a position to!!
I know where you’re coming from with the photo.
I sorted out so many photos when we split up – he gave me the box of photos – there were 100s mind! I put albums together – none with him… Far too painful to look at them.
I gave what was left (still 100s!) to him. Only to find the box out in the rain when he was packing up the house to move… The children saw all these photos of them in the rain. I don’t know how he could have done that. I rescued a few things from the pile he had out – including his granddad’s clock that I always loved.
I told my mother-in-law (ok, ex-step-mother-in-law) that The Git, as he was when I first met him was all I ever wanted.
Another reason, perhaps for staying on my own…
As I’ve said before, the marriage ended when he didn’t give a monkeys when I thought our youngest had died when I was 20 weeks pregnant, yet somehow, we still had a laugh and would sit on the swing seat watching the children play.
I knew he had the “friends” but could cope with them. It was the Texan who changed him into a stranger.
I did email her before I left, warning her (very nicely) to not contact my children as if she did I would take steps to protect them. I thanked her for giving permission to the ex to divorce me (she’s christian and introduced him to very extreme religion) – until she had done that ex wouldn’t agree, and refused to sell the house. She was shocked when she realised I was holding her responsible for ending the marriage.
Don’t regret it though, and as for the ex, well, can’t stand him now! He looks like a snake even.
oh you are like me UP one min because you are pleased you are doing well & then DOWN the next, it is certainly a roller coaster!!!
I hope you will be able to sleep Sy, I dont know what else to say right now. I'm feeling it now I've come up here to go to bed too, find myself start thinking, need to think of something else.
Take Care
sweet dreams tonight
Paula
I always have the radio or tele on. It seems to stop my mind whizzing. Not encouraging after 5 years is it...
Hope you sleep Paula.
My leg's a pain - literally!! :lol:
My friend was on the phone earlier, and seems her sister - who's large - is having similar issues, and is too scared to go to the GP. I think it's sad when we feel so guilty that we feel we can't go for help - and if we do to be dismissed.
As for the long posts - I talk too much in real life too!
Ages since I've had maltesers!! I had a Caramac the other day - boy was it lovely!
Maybe I should try some sleep. Eldest has only just gone up for a shower though. I don't like to go to bed when they're still up. They had a movie night this evening - Transformers. They each had a friend over. So exciting, a dvd, pack of crips and some Asda fudge! They enjoyed it! Just as well...
Take care
Morning to one and all!
I would just like to say it is FAB that you can support each other through this rollercoaster experience. :P The rollercoaster is all part of the process and it's not easy just when you think you're getting somewhere, to feel you are sliding back.....There will always be sad moments and sparkling has some upsetting memories which remain with her, I am sure the same is true for everyone a few years down the line, but somehow we absorb these memories as she has done, and learn to cope.
So let's keep moving forward togther!
How sad am I... I have which coloured bin week it is in my mobile reminder, on fortnightly repeats. :D
I'm fortunate in that my children are old enough to take the stuff to the top of the estate - which we do the night before in the holidays. I just direct them :D
What a good scheme, sparkling. Our recycling goes out fortnightly. I can tell by how much is in it whether it is "the" week or not. I had better not have a party or anything, it would totally throw me!
What a good scheme, sparkling. Our recycling goes out fortnightly. I can tell by how much is in it whether it is "the" week or not. I had better not have a party or anything, it would totally throw me!
Should our bin get a bit full - not often, to be fair - I open the bin lid, put the door mat on the top, then make the youngest stand in it... :D
Sparkling,
you are so organised!
sy
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: sparkling....remember to get him to climb oout again before the bin lorry comes! :lol:
I don't know and can't answer that. All I know is if you did this then it would go against you as the way your ex did this means the children are resident with her.
Had she left and the children were with you, if she kidnapped the children from school, that would work against her.
She has been quite calculating, I feel, in the way she has removed the children. Just my view point.
That was sort of why I was wondering if you could have them back with you for the continuance of schooling, friends, clubs etc. The longer they stay with her, then this situation becomes the norm.
I'm sorry if I'm explaining this badly.
With Luke you can say there's 5 sleeps. No plans, this is just how it is for now while you look into things.
Courts will not be favourable of splitting up siblings either
It's good the forms are in.
I guess you have work matter in mind at the moment too.
Sorry, I'm sounding negative. I don't mean to be.
Your right, there is.
I can't argue with that, but it does happen.
You have to put your case forward calmly and thoroughly.
You need to know you are doing all you can. The children will too. Arwen needs to know you've done this for her too.
There's no doubt she's been calculating in what she's done.
You could have a brilliant Cafcass officer - they do exist. You can't go into the meetings with a negative attitude towards them either (sorry, am I being bolshi with you here?).
You need to get your case down in writing so you have everything clearly. Including, I feel, a bit of info about the swimming lessons Luke's had and his friends.
Oh well, Paula, it's not your responsiblity and you will just need to sit back and let things take their course. I am glad that you phoned and tried to clear the air. Good for your daughter, putting "her" in the picture!
By the way, sorry to sound like a worn-out record but if you are angry, Paula and Sy, that is a really healthy sign that you are moving forward in this horrible process. It's important to "direct" that anger in the right way and personally one of the ways to do this for me has always been something physical like a brisk walk or swimming or kicking the coal bunker :)
Your ex has been calculating in the way she has removed the children without your knowledge, and taking them out of school.
GP appointment 12 August re Xray - not that he'll say anything other than I need to loose weight! :roll:
My ex never said thank you, yet made a huge drama over the fact that I hadn't said thank you for something when we came back of honeymoon - I know I always said please and thank you after that. I have to say though, that within a partnership that please and thank you aren't always necessary. She should have been saying it with your mum and Alan though...
What worries me is that if you're a bit 'direct' with the Cafcass people that they'll take it the wrong way... I know you need to be positive with them...
My son with special needs has one absolutely superb, loyal and understanding friend. They've been friends from nursery, and he never gets offended if my son wanders off when they're in the middle of something. This lad gets on well with my daughter too, so I am grateful to him. Other than him, my son has no particular friends.
I just feel that it could have been a reasonable point to put forward for Luke having not been moved away. School knows and understands him... I was trying to think of things for the Cafcass lot.
Back to catching up with posts now.
But I am still very cross :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
wish I wasn't so b****y nice all the time!!!
I have similar problems. Its how you are, and you can't change that. My argument was when somone pointed this out to me, was that if all they could say about me was that I was too nice then maybe I wasn't that bad a person... :roll:
You're protecting him. You're informing her of issues that need to be looked out for for his safety. He needs to be ok for his children - so what you have done is for your children, and not for his or her benefit.
I'd have done the same.
I think speaking to her seems to have been a good move, so she's aware of how things are with the children and the phone number. Hard on the children though, as they need to appreciate that she is part of his life. It's such a tremendous shock to them too...
Loads of hugs Paula.
Thank you for kind comments about the legs.
Sy. There is nothing to suggest your ex was a better parent than you. You worked, she did more hands on. That does not meant you were any less of a parent.
My argument here is that she has taken the children not only away from their home, but from the area they are growing up in and from there nan. Had you known she was going to do this, then you could possibly (although possibly not, as I would say in one of my essasy) have taken prohibitive steps to stop her going.
That is why I too feel you should try for residency (I'm not sure if that's even the right term used now). So the children can return to their schools in September. You'd have to sort out childcare, but loads of parents work full time with excellent child-care in place.
While I know I left my ex, there was no choice but to sell the house, or possibly, the office would have been used as secondary accommodation. However, I did not take the children away from the area or from their schools.
My theory over ex and his behaviour that I don't begrudge any choices he's made (not talking major debt here), but he should have left us to build his new life.
My thoughts of your ex is that she should have left you (you, Luke and Arwen) to build her new life.
Sorry, but I see the whole thing as incredibly difficult for your children.
Loads of hugs for you. Sorry, I seem to be in soap-box mode today.
sy
Helping people build a brighter future. And it goes on about overcoming barriers. Finance and wonky leg ;) are my barriers! Child care too, but limited hours and chucking children that can't be left at home in the back of the car covers that one!