hello

Hey there ppl.

Well, after 6 months it's court day Tuesday. I am looking for formal recognition as a parent of Luke (10) and to hopefully allow the children more opportunities to see me.

Wish me luck.

Hug sy x

hello,

the whole abuse thing is affecting me. I have drafted some reasoning here:

Calls to the children continue, as it is the children's wishes that they do. They have not indicated feeling 'abused'.

The irresponsible behaviour of the mother has created conditions of mistrust, where I have no choice but to ask about the children's well-being on contact phone calls with Luke. Arwen is not asked due to her age.

Causes for my welfare concerns are:

1. hitting of Luke for wishing to speak with me for emotional support
2. interference with the children's contact calls, curtailing calls, recording calls, non-answering of the phone
3. frightening Luke into not being able to call me
4. abduction of the children and lying to them of my support of this
5. unauthorised non-attendance of school, despite mother's assurance to the contrary
6. frustrating essential details on schooling, medical care
7. addiction of Louise to late night computer playing impacting on her temper and children's school attendance
8. Louise new partner has scattered children, who do not have contact with their mother, one of his children (his son) he never sees, his addiction to gaming and long-term unemployment and tax/benefit fraud
9. swearing within the children's environment
10. smoking in the children's environment
11. refusal of contact with me by Louise, hanging up repeatedly on calls feeding mistrust and suspicion
12. frustration of holiday contact by Louise, despite children's wishes to the contrary
13. continued school lateness (2-3 times a week according to the school)
14. housebound weekends for the children at Louise' flat sat in front of console games.

It is natural, understandable and desirable that I would wish to ensure the children are happy, healthy and safe. The above factors, and periods of suffering and misery by the children, demand that I must ask questions which relate to their environment and those within it. There is no one else monitoring the children, except me and the woman who has shown callous disregard to their feelings and resorted to violence against Luke and a man that has his children scattered to the four winds.

My calls are not abuse. 

Categorising my care concerns as not applicable in a contact case, rather than only for residency is a 'red-herring'. The children's periodic misery and especially Luke's bullying by mum are directly connected with the nature of the contact phone calls.

If the calls are abusive, why does Louise continue with them? If I am abusive why do the children look forward to staying with me? If Luke is abused, why did he want to write to the court to help with contact?

Telephone information gathered and when

The frequency of welfare questions from me has decreased, as the incidence of indicators of care issues has decreased.

I ask periodically about:

1. schooling, well-being and interests
2. their happiness
3. what they have eaten 
4. how Luke and Arwen have spent time that evening
5. if smoking is continuing
6. at weekends, if they have been out somewhere nice
7. what they would like to do when they see me
8. if they want me to call every night still
9. indicators of the children's relationship with Paul (this was at the request of Romford Social Services)
10. indicators of the children's relationship with Louise.

Information and children

Children do not need detailed information about court. They would not understand it. They need basic information, each according to their age. No more. This is what they have received as part of my parental responsibility to ensure they can make sense important events that effect them in their world.

No information is the worst thing that can be done. Luke especially does not do well with shocks or surprises. If children are in a 'vacuum of information' they doubt and question themselves about what is happening around them. They often blame themselves causing emotional scarring. I have first hand experience of this, as I have come from a broken home. I have checked this with an experienced child psychiatrist and he is in agreement in approach.

Section 7 welfare report

I'm not sure what this is. I'll have to google it. I welcome the opportunity for the children to speak and am happy for them to be my judges. If this is what the report will enable.

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Hi Sparkling,

they didn't have many. They were all Louise' contacts from school. I noticed that Luke's closest friend's mother started giving me funny looks prior to Louise leaving, so I would feel uncomfortable trying to get in contact with her again.

No telling what Louise has said to her.

Kids call now - wonder what I will find tonight?

Hug sy

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show. 
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking 

Of all the things I should've said, 
That I never said. 
All the things we should've done, 
That we never did. 
All the things I should've given, 
But I didn't. 

Oh, darling, make it go, 
Make it go away.

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show. 
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking 

Of all the things we should've said, 
That were never said. 
All the things we should've done, 
That we never did. 
All the things that you needed from me. 
All the things that you wanted for me. 
All the things that I should've given, 
But I didn't. 

Oh, darling, make it go away. 
Just make it go away now

Thank you sparkling,

am back up now. Am going to an ASD meeting tonight (autism) see if I can learn a bit about the world through Luke's eyes.

Bit nervous about it.

Have phoned pitman training to see if they do deal with Jobcentre. Also I have my stage 3 interview with jobcentre tomorrow. I'll ask them too.

Should be tidying up for visitor. But...only managed to clean sink so far. Toilet next.

Hope you are having some sunshine in Wales!

Hug sy x

Just a quick hello,

Alisoncam

I think I may be treating Luke too old in my conversations, at the moment he seems to be growing from it. Something I will watch. Absess, ow that it horrid. 

About me

Yes, it's all I can do is go on about myself. :(
Have the children to collect tomorrow, hopefully. Arwen was contrary last time. I'm not going back this time if she decides to stay with Louise. Have arranged for Luke to have a short horse ride again. £3.50 for 15-20mins, it's a bargain. He smiles alot.

Have more to say, but get so tired. Been gaming alot to escape 9 months of stress and hopelessness.

Hug sy x