hello
Yep, 6 seconds of recording is all she gets too! She keeps showing me videos of the Big Weekend - I haven't got the heart to not be interested! I focus and it's over! lol
OK, the weekend seems to be a distant memory to them - but is isn't...
My son is 18. He was 5 when my Mum died. My sister was a right cow and took things from my Mum's house that Mum had bought for my children. My sister wanted everything of my Mum's around her as she missed her so much.
Hmmm. Funny, I miss her too...
Anyway, my son loved windmills, and Mum bought one for him and put it in her garden. It was a big plastic one, about three foot high. My sister argued and argued to have this windmill. She said she wanted it for her son. Even though I said Mum had bought if for my son - who she saw every day - my sister took it.
A month or so ago, out of the blue my son asked why my sister had taken his windmill. I explained how my sister felt the need to take these things and how no one can ever beat my sister in an argument (so like my Dad).
He has never forgotten that windmill, still remembers my Mum buying if for him, and still feels it should be with him...
They don't forget Sy. We may think they do - but they don't. The profound things they come out with can be jaw dropping.
My sister has recently posted a load of photos of this windmill on flickr. Also photos of all my Mum's ornaments (Lladro) in a china cabinet. Ornaments she locked in her boot and wouldn't get out to sort them between me and my brother.
I will never log on to flickr again.
Yes. You keep phoning. Be guided by the children.
Have you got your name down on the local housing list? Could be forever, but if your not on the list, there could be a chance of something. I know it's hard.
So glad they enjoyed the riding, and so glad that Nanny is part of their lives too.
Hello sadsy
I hope that you are feeling Ok this morning. Sparkling lime is right: you are building memories with them, especially with Luke. He needs you in his life and no matter how hard Louise or the courts try, you have to keep on being there.
My eldest was eight when I split up from his father and he has many, many memories of when his dad lived with us and that has kept their relationship going even though at times it was impossible for them to meet (not me stopping it, I hasten to add!!)
Good luck with the solicitor
Oh Sadsy, my heart goes out to you. You're doing everything you possibly can, and your children know this. You're a terrific Dad who will stop at nothing where the kids are concerned, and there's my son's father who doesn't give a stuff at all, has no interest and basically is a s..t
Stay strong Sadsy, hugs for you
Take care
Alison
x
Very difficult for you, sadsy when you keep hitting brick walls.
When are CAFCASS due to speak to the kids?
Hello sadsy
How are you this morning?
How ridiculous that the court directions take over two weeks to be typed and one of the deadlines has already passed! I think you handled that phone call rather well :-)
I doubt very much your counsellor will "lose interest" If he feels that the work he is doing is not helping you then the usual thing would be for him to raise it with you so that you can both work out the way forward.
Yes, the percentage of parents without care (usually fathers) who lose contact with their children within the first year of separation is really high and one of the reasons is that the system defeats them. It is really important that you keep going, and phone when you can and be there when you can, the children need you in their lives.
Good luck with the next stage of things today. Did your computer survive the "operation"?
Sounds like a frustrating day all round. I did a marketing course once and one of their tips was that if you wnated to make an effective phone call you should stand up. I must admit I did think "well that isn't going to make the person be in the office, is it?"
Sadsy, have you been in touch with Shelter about the housing situation at all?They are generally very good, here's the link: http://england.shelter.org.uk
Glad you managed to get a horse ride even if it was on a greedy horse!
Good luck with the property statement
Hugs...
Poor old Mr Kipling. He gets a *. He should have stuck to cakes!
It's ridiculous that even your mum is not allowed to speak with the children. I wonder if Louise thought it was her calling as a "front" for you?
What are your plans for today?
Your poor Mum!
I agree with what "our" Louise says though. Maybe something can be added somewhere about Nanny being able to phone the children every now and then too.
Well, that's sort of good really. My lot have their father's mobile number on there's...
Well we can't speculate about other peoples' motives but (speculating...) I expect she was told it was unreasonable to withold this from him.
I'm guessing the valuations are good then? Even though they're bad...
Sounds as if there isn't any equity to make the forced sale financially profitable.
Did you get in touch with Shelter, sadsy? just to know what support could be offered?
Have a good weekend with GF and kitten!
Ah is it a man thing? The setting has been for just enough video to send with a text then?
I am disappointed to hear about the Shelter line. That is worth me doing a bit of investigation, methinks.
Has the kitten survived the night?
Thank you Sy. I shall tell daughter!
Gosh I did not realise it was a full year ago, sadsy. But do you really think you are still in the same place? I don't think you are. In terms of material things then I guess things are much harder. in terms of other things, you have grown so much, learned about yourself, been a loving dad, suffered redundancy, coped with the death of your stepdad, met a new girlfriend, accepted that your future will pan out differently from what you had expected. I would say you have come a very long way indeed!
I find reason in celebrating 'these' anniversaries.
You've been through a lot in the last year Sy, with so much loss to deal with.
However, I think you have moved on a long way. The house thing is a pain, I know. But you do have the ability and intelligence (which I know I wouldn't have) to represent yourself.
A new career maybe, helping those going through what you have, just showing them the way. Heck - you did get an apology from a barister!!
And g/f. How happy do you make each other? There are good things there, try not to let the not so good and the horrid cloud them.
Not about much for the next 10 days or so, in theory... Scouts mainly.
No one wants to experience trauma though, but as we've found out it happens and often to the nicest people with no let up...
That seems like a good list to be getting on with.
I don't think spending time with your Mum is hiding from life. I'm glad you have her there for you.
Have a lovely weekend with the children.
Hello sadsy
I do hope you can spend some enjoyable time with the children this weekend. You certainly do have a long list of jobs! I guess you knew that that was why L had cut the calls but now you have it confirmed.
As for "personal growth through trauma", no-one would seek trauma in order to achieve personal growth; it seems, however, to be a helpful by-product of the bad things that happen in our lives, if we let it in.
Hello sadsy
Glad you had a good time with the children. Even if the water was cold! Luke might have had a Teacher Training day yesterday, one or two schools round here did.
Did you get an answer to your phone call?
ATOS: haven't come across this at all, has anyone else?
Well done on the mirror. I am not a DIY-er at all so I admire anyone who is.
Hi sadsy
I just wanted to say Happy 1 Year Anniversary! You have been with us a year today!
And what a year it has been. I hope you have a good day :)
Hello sadsy
How did you get on at the assessment?
Louise cutting down calls - immediately object as the nightly contact has been in place for a while now. Don't let her break the pattern. I know she won't answer, but you know what your children's wishes are, and you know the children have a right to a relationship with both parents...
The minutes on the phone - I'm assuming its Pay As You Go? When my eldest was with Orange I could check the remaining balance online and top it up there. Not sure if you can check it with other networks. Tesco I top up online when daughter tells me she's run out of credit. She really is good and hardly asks, to be fair though.
Weather has been brilliant here. Older two had a great time in Faenol yesterday with the Radio One Big Weekend, and were almost pining today listening to it on the radio. What an experience for them. I'm so glad I was lucky with the tickets. They'll carry that memory though their lives now, I hope.