hello
Good afternoon
I’m sorry I didn’t post, I could hardly move after we watched Men in Black II, Dr Who, Torchwood then some funny thing. I can’t remember when I last sat that long in front of a television.
I had all those goodies to eat and couldn’t face them. The children did though!! Haha
By the time my daughter was home from camp and my son home from work is was 7.40pm before I started to open my cards and presents. And after midnight by then.
One of the mum’s of the Explorer’s bought me a small bottle of wine – so I drank that with sparkling water. However, not even vaguely tipsy.
So I am sorry I didn’t post any drunken ramblings. I did think of it, but loading the dishwasher sort of finished of the day…
I shall catch up with posts now…
I am so frustrated I have now lost two posts! :cry: one at 3 in morning in rant room, really long! I just cried when lost it & one here lost again, this time I saved but when I went to drafts it was not there!
Oh Sy, I'm so sorry, I know I have my kids. you are a fantstic Dad & should have yours too! I dont know what our ex's are doing I think they are making up stories in heads to ease their guilt & justify their actions!
You are a lovely man, so thoughtful & caring & funny :D I dont know how you can be treated like this :x
I done a silly thing :oops: It was all going so well until then. Eldest & youngest was talking to ex on phone at last! i was too & he said how nice it was to talk to me. we arranged him coming here this week to see kids & take 13 yr old back with him.
Then 13 yr old came in to say 'she' 25 & Dad asked her what she thinks about it! so 'I' tell him in text what 'I' think about it :oops: (result of not being told anything by him all this time! & then he blurts things out to them!)
Girlfriend text me! back to my text to HIM! I text her back & him! daughter phone him, angry girlfriend text me & upset me. I didn't know she was doing it, she made it worst because she said things, I still dont know what. Girldriend now thinks I am trying to turn them against Dad! telling me I have given them one story that untrue. I have not given them any story cause I dont know anything still!! :x
None of this makes any sense to me things dont add up at all, either she is playing games trying to cause trouble between me & ex & kids OR he has told pack of lies about me to make himself look good.
I have told him I am changing mobile & no longer comm by text with him & that he will need to phone me on landline if he needs to speak. I have made it clear he still welcome here & that he should come to sort things out face to face. Also made clear I do not use children, & do not give them any stories!
I dont know what to do now daughter still wants to go but I am concerned by this womans reaction to things & also his reaction to her interfearance. could he still be drinking, her too. I no longer have any trust & do not think daughter should go but dont know if I can stop her?
Sy I'm ready to listen to you now, I wont go on about me.
Paula x
Hi Paula
Don’t ever think you’ve done anything silly. As I’ve said before I would text ex…
He will be doing everything he can to make himself good.
He will be pointing the finger mainly your way, and every other direction but his own as to who’s to blame.
He will consider it to be none of your business what goes on in his life, however, will expect to know everything that’s going on in yours.
All this is based on the conclusion’s I’ve reached about The Git.
As Louise has said, have some assurances in place with your daughter staying. Would you be able to collect her if she did want to come back? As you’ve said about the 25 year old, she’s probably not had many life experiences.
The main consideration – as I know you know, is that your daughter will be safe…
Loads of hugs and strength. It’s such early days still, for all of you.
Hi Sy
I'm sure you were tired after the weekend and all the emotions that have happened with work too. I'll let you off with a lie-in. I had one today :D I could have crowned the 'demanding' friend who phoned at 8.30am yesterday, after I decided I wasn't going to get up and went back to sleep.
I hope you had a good weekend with the children.
Please Sy, focus on the weekend you've had with the children. I hope you had an absolutely fantastic time!
I hope that work can put some positive steps in place to help you here. World's your oyster here...
Hello Sparkling,
did miss your drunken post. Never going to happen with watered down wine!
Good afternoon
I’m sorry I didn’t post, I could hardly move after we watched Men in Black II, Dr Who, Torchwood then some funny thing. I can’t remember when I last sat that long in front of a television.I had all those goodies to eat and couldn’t face them. The children did though!! Haha
By the time my daughter was home from camp and my son home from work is was 7.40pm before I started to open my cards and presents. And after midnight by then.
One of the mum’s of the Explorer’s bought me a small bottle of wine – so I drank that with sparkling water. However, not even vaguely tipsy.
So I am sorry I didn’t post any drunken ramblings. I did think of it, but loading the dishwasher sort of finished of the day…
I shall catch up with posts now…
Hope you have a Happy Birthday Week. Yes my idea is that birthdays last a week now. Not just one day.
Love
sy
I quite agree :D
Sparkling,
I hope that work can put some positive steps in place to help you here. World's your oyster here...
Help, I don't know what you mean?
love sy
They might offer some good courses to you.
Your package - this is what you'll have to live off for a while.
Get emails of those who work with you and do stay in touch if you can...
Change of career maybe?
Business skills - working from home - although it's good working with other adults. Life at home is lonely.
That's what I sort of meant.
Too hairy?
Oh...
Well, the children and I were going out for a birthday meal tomorrow to the place eldest works.
The Git wants to see them, 6 - 8pm, so that's the end of those plans. Bits and pieces going on the rest of the week so can't.
I think my birthday ended yesterday.
Me oh My!
Hallo all! I have just spent the day trying to catch up with the posts and have only just finished reading this one topic, I am exhausted! :|
Thank you for all your well wishes for my week off, I was really touched. I had a lovely time and it all went too quickly, but its good to see you all again!
Happy Birthday for yesterday Sparklinglime, I am so glad to read that you had a happy one and your friends and loved ones showed you how loved and appreciated you are :D
I have just seen that you have added a message and I say NOOOO, your birthday did not end yesterday, what about going for meal on Weds or Thurs or Fri???
Sadsy - Hi, you have been on such a rollercoaster since I last read the boards a week ago. Sorry to hear about the redundancy, but I love the idea someone suggested to you about the world being your oyster, although it was good for you to have that consistency, this means that you can do whatever you want, career change might just be the life changing thing you need right now - it also means that you are entitled to Legal Aid, so perhaps you can sort a solicitor out now?
It was lovely to read that Arwen came to stay and it sounds as if it all went pretty smoothly - car troubles excluded!. Today you have hit the come down from the buzz of hanging out with the children over the weekend. Thats normal, please go to Tesco's and treat yourself to something, it would be good for the fresh air and exertion on bike, good to have a treat, and great for the butt muscles and you never know what kind of adventure/chance encounter you might have. ;)
Hear hear ;)
Paulasgems, you too have been on a rollercoaster. How are you today?
I want to reiterate what everyone else has said, 'DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR REACTING'
25 years old eh! Poor thing, the stories that he will have told her about you will definitely have her on his side. I don't know how old he is, but he is probably able to pull the wool over her eyes quite easily. Another thing I thought when reading your posts was that she may well be a drinker too, therefore she might not see his drinking as a problem.
I was really impressed when I read that you spoke to her and she apologised, she is SO caught in the middle of this all, with very little knowledge of the whole story - goodness she was only 8 when you guys first got together (have I got my sums right here?).
As for your girls, they are old enough to decide if they want to see their dad, so get their opinions and just go with it. He will dig his own hole in the end.
I hope you have a good eve and you are feeling a little better than the weekend. I will be back tomorrow catching up with other posts and hopefully get a chance to say hi to everyone. :)
Thanks sy :D
Me oh My!
Hallo all! I have just spent the day trying to catch up with the posts and have only just finished reading this one topic, I am exhausted! :|
Thank you for all your well wishes for my week off, I was really touched. I had a lovely time and it all went too quickly, but its good to see you all again!
Happy Birthday for yesterday Sparklinglime, I am so glad to read that you had a happy one and your friends and loved ones showed you how loved and appreciated you are :D
I have just seen that you have added a message and I say NOOOO, your birthday did not end yesterday, what about going for meal on Weds or Thurs or Fri???
I'm so glad you had a good week :D
RAF Cosford tomorrow
Cubs/Scouts Thursday
Then my eldest is back at work...
Saves some money!! I just fancied having a meal cooked for me. :roll: Very lazy...
Sparkling,
your Birthday meal comes first.
The Git can rearrange for once.
It's your turn.
love sy
We had discussed it, and the children had agreed that The Git could wait. However, daughter says she didn't agree, and now they're not so keen on the meal idea.
Guess they know they'll have dvd and sweets, which is a better offer :D
The weekend was ok though. Which was good. Glad I hadn't got around to putting my cards up. I'd be taking them down now!
Maybe later.
I wish the children could have felt able to have decided to stick to the meal idea though. I realises its hard for them - and at the end of the day, I'm just 'here' anyway, and they know I will be.
hahahaha!!!!!!!!!
They made me a lovely card.
I did enjoy yesterday, and so did they.
I'll never be first Sy - and I don't mind really :)
Well, a bit today, maybe...
I don't know what to say here, Sy, I'm sorry.
I left everything with ex, so he couldn't chase me for anything - oh sorry, he did demand the loan of the camcorder, which he never brought back. I kept the tapes though, as he know he put them on american format tape for the texan.
I would refuse her access, and call the police. She may have 'told' your mother what she intends to do, but it needs to be negotiated.
She could have the bed though...
had some bad news from Louise, see rant.
On day 4, I begged her to not hurt me anymore out of my tear wet, swollen face.
Why hurt me more?
sy
She'll hurt you more because she can.
Why do you think ex is seeing the children tomorrow? In-laws knew I was planning to go out, and so did the children, as we've been planning it for a week or two.
Could be a fluke, but I think not.
Yes, sparkling, it is hard NOT to be suspicious.... :x I am shocked :o that you haven't got your birthday cards up. I only took my Mother's Day cards down this week, and they had been up since March :) . Go on, put them up for a couple of days........ ;)
Sy I don't know why you seek to "understand" what Louise is doing and the whys and wherefores of it.......it is something you will probably never have the answer to, just as Paula will also maybe never get to the bottom of what happened with her partner. I guess you will continue to be unpleasantly surprised by what she does during this process, as I know it is hard to think of someone we loved and who we thought loved US,behaving in dreadful ways...
Off to the wishing chair...
Work tomorrow.
Had lovely message from boss. Today. She'll have me in tears at this rate.
Will be wearing my dead stepdad's trousers, as everything of mine is too big.
Not sure how I feel about it. He was happy to hand me things on when he lived.
Sure he'll be ok with it.
Locksmiths tomorrow lunchtime. Try 3 see what price is.
Estate agent coming next Monday evening. I have 1 week to finish house. sigh
Oh shxt, my tablet!
sy
Sy, I'm sending you a virtual box or two of tissues.
Accept offers of support, and ask for addresses and emails to keep in touch - a bit of "real life" contact. Any of them play badminton?
Wear your step-dad's trousers with pride. I'm sure he'll be with you.
I'll be thinking of you.
Cards are up...
Hope today is in someway positve Sy. Don't blame you for not having any goodwill left.
Paula - I'm sorry this is going on. Hope this can help understand and hopefully help with you daughter.
Hi sparklinglime
Glad to hear your cards are up, it means you are making a stand and shows the children that it is important to you. It does seem very odd that ex wanted children tonight after everyone else seemed to know that you were going for birthday meal, hmphhh :?
I must read some other posts as I didn't get a chance yesterday as I had to plough through this one, speak to everyone in a bit when I have caught up. :)
Seeing them Thursday will give you time to look at what ACAS has to say. They have a very good and helpful site.
Hope the counsellor can help calm you.
Good the locks are done.
Take care and loads of hugs.
Paula
if your daughter really wants to go then you could let her but perhaps only for a short visit this time, She also needs her dad's reassurance that she can come home if she feels unsettled. it may be a shcok to her to see her dad with another woman. It sounds to me as if thius new woman feels very insecure about things, otherwise she would sit back a bit and let it all happen.
Good about not texting anymore; texts can so so easily misunderstood and one-to-one chat is best. Poor you, you had a rotten evening with all this going on. Sy is right, it is very early days for them and once the honeymoon glow has gone then it may be a different story......