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but i cant help it, i am gonma b worried what my ex could do, as these men are capable of anythin and my ex is violent man, he already as put me in hospital, cant help but worry bout it
and my 15 year old son ad a fit last tue, day after his birthday, this is his 2nd fit now, he ad fit his his nanas car, he ad to go hospital, so worried, so now he as to hav brain scan, and doctor said looks like epilepsy, gutted
Hello kiera I am so sorry to hear about your son, please concentrate your energies on him, yes you know that your ex is violent but a. if anything happens you call the police immediately and b. your son needs you to support him and not be distracted (if you let worries about this man occupy your mind he is affecting your life AND YOUR SON'S, your son is your priority
Hi Keira. Sorry to hear about your son. Louise is right though, concentrate just on him, and don't worry about your ex. The authorities will deal with your ex if he turns up etc. If it does turn out to be epilepsy, then the right medication will hopefully sort things for him. I'm sure you're worried sick about your son, but you also have to be strong for him. Let us know how he gets on. x
Hi kiera, I know you are very scared of your ex. I was too, but do you know the thing that is hardest for us to do is stand up to them and that is the thing that makes them back off!
He knows that you will call the police if he messes around now and he values his ego and 'good' name more than he wants to hurt you. Yes he may get angry, he may threaten stuff, but it is unlikely that he will physically put you in danger, he has another family as well that he needs to keep sweet.
As Louise says, your boy needs you now, more than ever, I imagine he has had quite a shock having 2 fits recently, I hope that the brain scan can give you both a clear idea of what is going on.
Will you try and spend some quiet family time all together this weekend?
well my eldest daugter back from uni this week til monday, we are goi for meal tomoz with my mum as well,for lunch, my little girl wil b in nursery, and sat nyt im out for mates birthday, my daughter babysittin cant wait,goin for curry in restaurant then goin for few drinks in clubx
Hi kiera your night out sounds good fun, enjoy. It would be good for you to spend some individual time with your son this weekend, he must be very scared at the moment, and needs his mum
hi well court tue meant b last hearing, hope it isx
Yes hopefully the last hearing, fingers crossed.
What do you think your son would like to do with you over the weekend?
hi well court tomoz, see what happens, my original soliciter wont be there as she as moved offices, gutted really, i was used to her, b another soliciter there,my mate is comin with me, and private room booked for me , really dont want see ex
Hi kiera, I know you don't want to see your ex, but it really sounds as though you have everything under control that you possibly can.
I know how unnerving it all is and I am glad that you are taking your friend with you. The last time I went to court, I didn't even look at him, I wanted to, but I decided that I was there to speak and engage with the courts and not with him, so completely blanked him, even though he ended up representing himself, I still didn't look at him, just directed everything at the judge.
Do you have a mantra that you can say to yourself over and over again to keep yourself calm or when you feel nervy. Something like 'This is my life and I am the one who says how I will live it'?
I hope tomorrow passes quickly and smoothly kiera.
Best of luck for tomorrow kiera. Am sure you'll be fine, and I'm really pleased your friend is going with you.
Will be thinking of you 
((Big hug))
Best wishes for tomorrow kiera x
hi well my friend isnt cumin with me now, she as broke her foot, so gutted,feel even worse, so goin on my own, xthank u for replysx
and my solicter wont b there as she as move doffices so a solicter wil b there who i dont even no,and now my friend cant come, ive left message with lady at wave, as she said she would come, but heard nothin, meant to b last hearin and judge makes a desicion, but in report last week ex stil not allowed any contact, want it over with, my mum comein watchin my little girl early, got b at court by 9,30am,x
Good luck, kiera, thinking of you, you are stronger than you know
well got back from court, it was adjourned, til june 21st, ex as to do another drug test, and also they are lookin into teneriefe, victum support sat with me in private room, i didnt have to go in court, but when i left ex walked out, he gave me propa look, i looked away, he was goin direction i was so guy from victum support walked bus station with me, didnt help tht bus did nt turn up this mornin, i was 45 min late, so i was even more anxious, i nearly cried but didnt, x
Hey kiera what a day, it sounds as though everything seemed to be falling apart what with your friend breaking her foot (hope she's ok), WAVE not getting back to you, having a different solicitor and then the buss not turning up however it sounds as though you held it together, well done you!
It sounds as though the courts are trying to get as much on your ex as they possibly can whilst they have the chance. It is frustrating that the process is not all over now, but it sounds as though all of this is definitely going to help your case rather than hinder it.
It was also good to hear that you had someone from Victim Support with you. Of course your ex had to give you a look, he is still trying to intimidate you, but as IDT said on her thread, he will continue to be the way he has always been, you can't change that and it is pointless (I know because I spent quite a few years wishing it) thinking that he will feel guilt or remorse.
SO! What are you up to this evening? There has been a long build up to this day and now it is over, are you having a cosy family evening? Did your boys know where you were going today?
hi thanks for reply, yes i understand what ur sayin, course hes goin to giv me a look,thts what hes like, no remorse, i dont expect anythin else, well im making lasagne, yes the boys new where i was goin today, and my residence order as gon thru in m y favourx
Well done for getting through the day.
I hope you all enjoyed the lasagne
Kiera your cooking always sounds so lovely 
Glad it is over, you did so well, I know it is annoying to not be properly over but the good side is not only are they investigating him thoroughly (and he has to stay off the drugs) but also you now KNOW that there are another three months when your daughter will have no contact with him and you can have some breathing space. Make the most of it!!!
How is your son doing?
Well done kiera, you got through the day, and you didn't let your ex intimidate you 
thank you for all ur replys i do apreciate it, i dont no what i would of dun without all ur support over the last year, thank u to everyonex
Hi keira, how are you today? do you have anything planned for the weekend?
hi well takin my little girl to nursery soon, she goes 12 til 4, then goin pet shop buyin fish and fish tank and gona surprise kids later, my 1 1yr old son at party sat 2 til 7, jsut wana relax this weekend and spend time with kids, walk dog, make nice dinner sunday, lambchops instead chicken, av change, wana forget court and concentrate on kids,x
Sounds like a good weekend. Will you have names for the fish or will there be a few little ones that you can't tell apart?
hi louise well bought fish tank, wait 48 hrs bfore u put fish in, no idea on names, but my 11 yr old wants wrestling man name, he loves wwe wrestlin, and il let 15 yr old pick another name, so its fair,x
oh yes they always want us to be fair!
My boys used to adore WWE wrestling, they liked Shane McManus and The Rock (was a few years ago). In fact my youngest has still got two huge stuffed toys of wrestlers in his room, I will check their names, was there one called Jake the Snake?
hi well we have called orange fish shamus,and dark fish cain, i like randy orton lol,fed fish just now, they are babies, got really nice tank as well, few green plants in, kids love um, i do lolx
Shamus and Cain, love it!
ONE YEAR LATER!!
Hi kiera, you started this thread a year ago! 
And wow, how far you have come! I was just browsing over your first posts and thinking how well you have done.
I think once you have experienced such trauma and come through the other side you can see how different life can be ......and with that insight we can recognise that it is up to us to create our lives to however we wish.
I think you still have healing to do (and court dates) but I would be interested to hear how differently you feel today compared to when you started this thread a yeara ago. Can you see the difference??
hi yes a year ago, mad what as happened,cant explain how i feel u no,dont no why, stil cant believe everythin tht as happened,and tht i was involved in tht type of relationship , my ex was worst than my last fella,well i wont b makin tht mistake again believe me,il no the signs, made me stronger, x
Wow kiera a year! Well done to you for all you have achieved this year
I am glad you feel stronger. Have you got any examples of things you are doing now that you would not have been able to do before?
Hi kiera hope you are ok
Please come over and join the discussion we are having about what to look for in a new partner, would love you to join in, it is in Relationships and the link is here (click)
After such an awful experience as you have had, it is good to think about these things
hi louise i feel down today, wish court was over with,wil it ever b, tryin hold it together, was at hospital yest and doctor said my son wil av another siezure again cos he as ad 2 there high risk he wil av another seizure, was upsetting, he as to av brain scan and av heart tests, and hatemy ex so muc, cant elp it, how can i move on, im tryin and when my mates say aw are u ok, i dotn no how u cope, im strong, well i go ome and i cry, i dontfeel strong,ive ad enuf, so fed upxavnt i bin thru enuffx
Hi kiera, I am so sorry to hear about your son, when our children are ill, we feel so powerless to do anything and it can make all the negative stuff in our live suddenly seem huge.
Your ex sounds like a waste of space and doesn't deserve any more of your brain time, especially now.....Now is the time to focus on your son and what CAN be done for him.
It is good that you can go home and have a cry, it releases the pressure of all that you are under, which is still a lot of stress to cope with, so I am not surprised that you feel as you do.
Do you know when your son will be having the brain scan and heart tests?
Big hugs
Hello kiera, I think things are so hard for you now, you are worried about your son and you want so much so get rid of all the hurt your ex left you with and you are still so upset about it all....you are doing that thing of putting a brave face on it to other people then crying at home, well that is ok, crying lets go of a lot of stress hormones, you know.
Anna's right, you have to give your son a lot of your focus right now. He will be so scared. Take care of you, too, try to put court away in a box, and get through what each day holds, one step at a time, we are here for you.
Loads of hugs kiera.
I hope you have an appointment very soon for your son. I can only imagine the worry.
hi well got wait for the appointment thru the post for brain scan, and seperate appointment for the heart scan,its when the doctor said to me and my son u no tht u wil have another sieizure now,cos risks are very high as he as ad 2, my son got tears in his eyes and i did,and was at parent s evenign last night for him and teachers cudnt praise him enuff, he is getin all A and A star, he is very clever, they said he wil av great success, and he is such great lad adn i shud b proud, i am proud of him,he is very determined to do well, and on top of tht getin himself a little paper round which he does every mornin and weekend,he is an achiever, x
but my 2 sons are goin away for weekend with nana this friday til monday, they cant wait, water park in wales, my eldest daughter is goin, she is ome friday for 3 weeks, so cant wait spend time with erx thank u for ur replys they do help me
That does sound lovely.
All this is so distressing, but with the tests, they will be able to diagnose the problem and then start on medication to eventually control it.
Hi Kiera,
It must be very worrying, not knowing if your son will have another siezure or not. As sparkling said the tests will help find a reaon, then he can get some treatment. Thinking of you and your family x
kiera, this is a difficult time for you and my heart goes out for you. Are you able to talk to your boy about what is going on? sparklinglime is right, the tests will bring some answers.
I think it is lovely that your eldest 3 are going away, I hope they have a super time and you get some down time and quality time with your baby girl :)
It is also so nice to hear that your daughter will be around for 3 weeks too, she is so supportive.
What are your plans for this evening?
Hi Kiera! I just found your thread I haunt read it all yet but will do
How are you doing today?
Thinking of you x
Hi kiera, I hope the boys are all packed and you are looking forward to a lovely, simple, quiet weekend
hi my anxiety as bin quite bad last few days ,dont no why, last nyt i ad dream bout ex, it seemed so real feel bit shook up bout it, he ad hidden camera on one of my mates, spyin on me, then he ended up in my house, he tried to hold my hand i didnt, but i wanted to, i stil loved him in my dream even after wot he ad dun to me, ive woke up and feel upset by this, confused, is this normal, how can 1 man effect me like this
Dreams can really shake you up some times as they feel so real. I wouldn't look too hard for any meaning, I try to think of them as my brain sorting through things.
Have you got much on today? Something yummy for dinner?
kiera I know it gets more nerve wracking as the court date gets closer, but it is important not to let it take over your whole life. What else is going on for you? How are your boys?