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hi dream seemed so real, i did want to kiss my ex in dream but i didnt, not doin chicken dinner, prob av fish, 27th march got hospital my eldest son avin head scan,see wot these siezures are,worryinx
Glad you have the appointment through anyway. I am cooking fish today too 
Chicken casserole for us x
Hi kiera
My son has fits too he's only 22 months but they started when he was five months old it was very scary at first
It's got easier ;) iv learnt how to deal with them now
Let us know how you get on on the 27 th x will be thinking off you and your son.
How was your dinner today? I cooked a chicken this morning but it turned into a 'party tea' not a roast ! Crusty bread and butter cold pasta sald etc er well x
That sounds a lovely tea, IDT.
Hope you managed the casserole with your poorly thumb, PQ
Kiera how is the potty training going?
Hi kiera how are you? Iv started a new thread see up thread xx
Hi kiera, I think it is today that your son has his brain scan, I hope it all went ok. It is quite a traumatic experience, so I hope you are cooking his favourite tea and giving him lashings of love and attention!
Hi kiera honey I hope your ok, Anna says your son has a scan?
Awww thinking of you x
When you get five mins let us know how your getting on x
hi well ad gud day yesterday with maxcboys, went pictures and ad went macdonalds, got ome, my eldest son went on laptop upstairs, my othere son outside playin footy, i heard bangin, i just new my son was avin a seizure,i ran upstairs and he was avin a fit, was awful, he ad fit feb 12th last, i rang ambulance, he was in funi position tho ,and he actualy dislocated his shoulder, spent most last nyt at hospital, my mum watchin my other 2 kids, my son ad to av morphine for the pain,the doctor popped his shoulder bk in, so now he as sling on his arm, so upsettin, this si his 3rd siezure now, shud get results of head scan next week, x so my nyt out cancelled last nyt, but my son more importantx
Awww hi Hun
Sorry to hear about your son, it's upsetting to watch it but it get easier I know that's no consolation but it does, when myson had his first one the ambulance nearly had to treat me for shock, I was orfful, but now I'm fine.
Let us know the results,
Will be thinking about you x
What u up to today? I might watch a film with my kids tonight xx take care Hun
Hi kiera. Sorry to hear about your son. Luckily you were around to deal with it promptly. Hopefully, the results will be in soon, and then you'll all know what's what. Hope he's resting today, and his shoulder is okay too. Bless him.
hiya thank u for replies, my son is asleep now, im keepin eye on him,thanku im doin this for reply, well bin food shopin,and hung washin outm, relaxin today,my parents cumin tomoz for chicken dinner, got nice bottle fizzy rose wine in , gona watch film tonyt as wellx
Hope your son feels better soon kiera. It must be very distressing for you to see your son having a seizure and hurting himself, like imdoingthis said, it will get easier for you. Sending big hugs x
I am so sorry to hear about this, kiera, so frightening for your son, and terrifying for you too. Hope the results of the scan will show them there is something they can do.
A relaxing evening on the cards for you, young lady!
Hi kiera hope your well, enjoy your dinner today I'm doing the same today x
hi im doin this thanks for replyin to me on ere, how era u, im ok, waitin for doctor to get bk to me to see if get ct results thru quicker as my son ad another siezure good friday, does ur child av epilepsy then, worryin isnt it, my 15 yr old son as ad 3 siezures now, and hes upset cos he went to fracture clinic yesterday adb doctor said he wud prefer it if he didnt do his paper round for next 3 weeks, he as to rest his shoulder, scary tht he hurt himself while avin a siezure,we need no results so he can av medication bfore he as another siezure,xx
Hi kiera, just popping in to say hi and sorry to hear about your sons shoulder, poor lad. How is he within himself today?
Hi kiera how are you doing x thinking of you x
hi im doin this im ok, bit fed up worryin bout my son, dreadin when he goes bk to school, got appointment see consultant 10th april, discuss wot step to take next,, my son cud av head scan thts more advanced, tht wil pinpoint exactly in the brain where the siezures appended, the ct ascan was normal, so worried he wil av another siezure bfore the appointment, even when he a sbath i sit ouitside bathroom incase he as a siezure in bathx
Oh kiera what a terrible worry for you. How is your son coping? Is he taking it in his stride or has he become more introverted?
That is good news I presume that the ct scan was normal?
Hi Kiera
( talking from my sons experience ) the fact that it's normal is very good? If it showed things up then it's not so good, sorry iv missed how old he is I think you said he's in his teens?
It is worrying, the school will be fully trained to deal with a fit if it came to that, stay strong for him I know you can ;)
The thing I tale comfort from is I know how to help him, I can make it the least uncomfortable if I can , sounds crap but I was told to still talk to him as he can still here me through a fit I now can sit and erasure him that I'm there with him etc at first I spent lots of time in a and e until I lerny to deal with it x
Try and take comfort from helping him if you can x
hi im doin this thanks for reply yes i understand wot ur sayin, i no alot more bout seizures now,so at least i can elp him, yes talkin to him b gud,got appoint ment 10th april with consultant, take it from there,i just dont want leave him on his own, even when i go shop, my son is 15, x how are u hun and ur kidsx
Hi Kiera
I thought about getting a a wrist band for my son, to put my mind at rest you can have them personalised with what condition they have and their name etc but he's not out of my care, don't know if your son would want to wear one maybe not but it's just an idea, you can get nice ones like made of silver obviously the price goes up then too.
I'm struggling to entertain my kids because of how cold it is, spent a fortune already, might go swimming today
What about you ?
What a great idea to get a wrist band IDT. It is good that you know more about how to help him, kiera, only a few days to go until the appointment
hi y thanks for repiles,yes thts a gud idea bout wrist thing, il mention it,i cant wait for the apointment actually, so i no wot wil appen next x
Hi kiera, that is a good idea about the wrist band. I am also wondering about how his younger brother is coping with it? Could he learn how to handle it and help if it happens again, as I imagine he feels pretty scared and helpless when it happens, so this might empower him to feel a bit more in control too?
kiera, in another thread you were saying that you were still feeling gutted that your relationship was over, you know it wasn't good, however you are still feeling like you love him.
So I wanted to tell you about something I have learnt about life and that is that everything has to balance itself out. So when you have a relationship with massive highs, it means that you will have to experience the huge lows too. Now you can choose to have relationships like that or you can choose to have a relationship where life stays on an even keel. Some people think that this is not exciting enough for them, ie they want the fast cars, good looking men etc etc, but as we were discussing in the thread What do you look for in a partner, we are already recognising that friendship, kindness and honesty massively outweighs the 'cool' stuff!
So there may be an element of you missing the 'excitement', but please remind yourself that this person isn't a 'nice' man, yes sure there was a few things that were nice or good, but generally he used you and treated you appallingly.
It is confusing and the longer you are away from him and the situation the clearer it becomes. I know it is easy for me to say, but I have been there, trust me, I know how it can rip at your heart strings on some days, but as you grow kiera, your expectations of how you want to be treated and how decent people behave will change.
I also think that there is sometimes an element of us just not wanting to be 'so wrong' about someone. I loved the bones of my daughters father, but he turned my world upside down and left me with nothing, not even my own pride, so even though I pined for him, for us to sort things out and be 'happy' again, it wasn't love that I felt, it was desperation and a sense of not being wrong.
Do you know what I mean?
hi just wondered why i avnt heard off cafcass or my soliciter, last court hearing was in feb, we now end april,i no there was 2 things the court ordered was ex doin another hair strand test for drugs for last 6 months,and cafcass are lokkin into what ex did to me abroad,next hearin in june
Hi Hun could you ring your solicitor for an update? Sometimes they are that busy they know things but they don't tell us and we are sat wondering,
Xx
Hi keira
IDT is right give your solicitor a call and see if they have anything new to update you with.
Do you have plans for the weekend keira?
no plans,prob walk the dog all weekend,ive ordered new playin game for me and kids from amazon,shud cum tomoz, so play tht, iyts fun game,u can only say certain words init, and my new extension lead shud cum tomoz so giv garden gud mow,if its not rainin,do nice chicken dinner sundayx avin quarter pound cheese burgers for tea today,and fries and beansx
Hi
I see your plans for weekend!! Iv just asked you what your doing on my thread ;)
I wish my kids would eat burgers really nice with sald and fries they won't eat sausages either, sounds nice anyway enjoy them
Have a good weekend xx
Hi kiera, did you give your solicitor a call?
Your weekend does sound good, what game have you bought? I recently heard a lovely story about board games.
A local primary school has a toy and game library, however it rarely gets used, the majority of parents are Somali and a colleague of mine teaches ESOL (teaching English to speakers of other languages), she took them to the library and got the board games out and showed them how to play! Apparently there was a lot of laughing and fun had and now the library gets used!
It made me smile as I know how much fun can be had from a board game
Have a lovely weekend
hi i feel down today, im blockin out court well tryin to, bin anxious today, if i ad 1 wish it wud b to move miles away so ex cant find us, cant help thnikin like this, sorry seem confusin wot im posting, so fed up
Bad luck keira it is hard isn't it, what you are feeling is normal, but there are ways to manage it.
Why do you think you are feeling down today? Is it because of the court case or is something else bothering you? I have left a response to you in your new thread scared my violent ex gonna get contact with my little girl
Loads of hugs kiera 
Hi how are feeling today x
BIN ONE YEAR TODAY SINCE I ENDED IT WITH MY EX FOR GOOD
Well done Hun ;) X it's great that you and your children are free from living with him x
Any good reason for a glass of something nice ;) x
Kiera, I hope you are feeling proud of yourself xx
A whole year on, well done kiera. Bet you can hardly believe it! What is the main tip you would pass on to others in abusive relationships, say if you were advising and supporting other women?
hi keira , have you had a fact finding hearing , how did it go , caffcass have recomended a fact finding hearing , am really dreading it , solicitor has said i could go behind screen or give evidence through video link, or just face him , i not long found out he has been leading a secret life fo nearly a year with a new girlfreind and her baby , and they live right next door to his mum where he is supposed to be living , i think he is living with her wich makes me nervous again cos he,s pretending to be living wt his mum and if he eventually gets access at his mums he will just be taking her next door to his girlfreinds who is a ex druggy ,what was your fact finding hearing like if you had one , did you go to peices , he basically calling me a liar wont admit anyhting am scared they wont believe me :( xx
hi i think ive ad fact findin,not sure, but there as bin 3 reports, next hearing is june 21st, waithin on ex drug results and cafacss are lookin into the assault ex did to me abroad,yes it cum out in court last july bout ex double life, awful, all tht time letin me down,now i no why he ad no intention of bein family,the last 2 time si didnt need to go in court,i also ad private room booked so didnt av to see ex,want it over with, sick of it now,ex asnt bin allowed any contact at all so far,x
hi keira our experiances seem to be getting more and more serious i found out only last week ex has been leading secret life wit new girl and baby , fact finding hearing is where they cross examine you both in front of the judge , is tht what you had , im really scared, im sitting in psu room away from him and may give evidence behind a screen x
You need to make sure all concerned are aware of the situation with the girlfriend and the drugs, anonymous mum
yes i am going to inform them tommorow louise thanks, i meant to say our experiances are very similar kiera x
hi it cum out in court he lives with his 4 children,and he as never left his girlfriend,and new baby,and then it cum out bout his criminal record,woundin with intent,6 years he did for tht, i didnt even no bout it,then judge said to me my kids are at risk if i av anythin to do nwith him again, i do av non mol order agianst him,but runs out soon, but he asnt breached it,well apart from putin fake profile up on facebook,pretendin b sumone else,well i was meant to av contested hearin in feb, but i asked for screen to b put up,thst where i ad to stand up in front 4 judges and say why dont want ex to av contact with our dawter,then in feb court wa sadjourned,ex as to do another hair strand test,he delayed last one for 5 months and also used hair dye,so he as do another one, last chance for him,and test for last 6 months and not 3 months like bfore, and lookin into serious assault abraod,he said he awasnt charged but he was,
my ex wasnt charged so is saying it neva happend but that is only cos i didnt pursue it i regret that now but i was such a mess, i am also having a screen, im thinking of asking my solicitor for a barrister to do the fact finding hearing x
The police should still have records anonymousmum even though your ex was not charged.
Kiera, PQ is right, it is your brain processing what has happened to you, personally I think the dream is a good sign that it IS processing it and you are not stuck in the same cycle of thought, which has been hard for you in the past. Now your mind is telling you it is recovering from what happened!!!
Anna posted a link on IDT's thread, it would help you too, I believe, have a look here at the site Hidden Hurt, the section about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is what I have put a link to, you will see that it is NORMAL to have these dreams. Hope this reassures you!
I am with PQ on this one.....what is for dinner? Are you having a day off cooking as it is just you and your daughter?